Double or Nothing

Truth

Messages
Bae❤️ 🔐: Ion wanna argue with u, I just wanna pull up & eat that pussy man 😩 I miss you. Ion wanna do this arguing. I'll be over to your place around 11:00. So get out your little feelings😘

As I read Jay text message, I laugh to my self. He must think I'm stupid to give him some pussy after the shit he pull last night. Hell no Jay got me fuck up. I might be 21, but I'm not young and dumb. Jay like to play games to say that he's older then me. I just can't understand why a grown ass man can't show more emotions and feelings. He need to remember he ask me to be his girl friend i wasn't even ready for a relationship when i first met him. Jay is honestly nonchalant about everything and hide his emotions. He say he loves me, what ever that is. Honestly if this what love supposed to feel then maybe i don't know want to be in love anymore. Last night I ask Jay one simple question. All I ask him was why he wanted to be in a relationship with me when he acting like we not even together.  It felt like our relationship was a secret, and being kept in the dark. The only one who knew were  together is our friends and family. I just feel like if you in love with someone why not want the whole world to see. What is there to hide? I ask him. Jay was honestly speechless, i can tell by his facial expression he didn't wanna be bothered with answering my question. I still needed my answers, so I push his buttons and repeated my question back to him. As soon as i repeated my question Jay blew the fuck yo outta no where.
"Jewel don't be questioning me about no dumb ass shit, I don't got time to be answering questions that you already know the answers to."

"No Jay I don't know, that's why I'm asking you."

" Jewel you always on some childish ass shit, as soon as we be good here you go starting shit." "I had a long as day at work, and I really don't got time for this bull shit." " You supposed to be a nigga peace, ain't nobody got time for all that nagging"

"I don't understand how I'm being nagging, and childish now that I'm asking your a serious question."

"You know what, I don't need all this extra shit, I'm about to head out. Hit me up latter when you out of your little feelings."

I ain't gone lie i miss Jay, but i gotta stay strong because i need answers. I need the truth. Without the truth I can't fall in love with him too deeply like i want to. My heart won't allow that. Maybe when I see him tonight his mind, most importantly his heart will be in a different place. Since I over slept I guess I'll take a shower and hit up my girl Destiny & see if she want to have a spa day. The spa is my got to for relaxation. Before I step in the shower i turn on my speakers to listen to music to go along with my hot steamy shower. "Alexa play Lil Baby Close Friends.