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Chapter 4

Trigger warnings: Self-harm (sort of), low self esteem, suicidal thoughts.

POV: Still Roman, still first person.

One moment I'm sitting at a table with my fellow sides, the next I'm sobbing along to Wicked. Time sure flies, doesn't it?

Now Logan, possibly the most cynical one out of all of us, has taken over my role. As an actor, this is some next level humiliation.

Logan first suggested Patton to temporarily be 'good' creativity, but he politely declined, and seeing how Virgil, Remus and Deceit are all unfit for the role, that only left good ol' Health Before Wealth.

Now he's functioning as both creativity and logic until I'm well again. Sounds like a fine plan, except for the fact that I always find a way to mess things up, even when I'm not active.

I mean, the nightmare situation started when I wasn't even awake.

The nightmares started a few months back, right after one particular moment.

We're standing on a mossy cliff, looking over a seemingly endless sea.

"Why are we here?" I questioned. "No reason, really," Patton replied.

"I just wanted to hang out with you for a bit, and luckily I knew just the spot."

"How come I've never been here? It's in the imagination, which I and Remus control, right?"

"You'd be wrong there. This place is mine and Deceit's, buddy. It's a bit saddening to go here, though."

I raise an eyebrow. "Why's that, glittery sunshine?"

Patton sighed. "When a side is malfunctioning, Deceit and I have to quote-unquote 'drown' them. A new version of that side will pop up seconds to minutes after that happens."

He continues: "The old side doesn't exactly drown peacefully, though. They'll go unconscious within seconds, and then they'll slowly be dissolved in acid. It's horrifying, and the worst thing is that the side can't get out of there by himself."

I've never seen Patton this serious before. "Why are you telling me this?"

The father figure looks at me. "I'm sorry, it's just... When Thomas was younger, many of his ex creative sides accidentally stumbled upon this beach and decided to go for a swim. I don't want that to happen to you, Ro."

"Wait, there were Creativities before me and Remus?" Patton nods. "Many. They usually died within a few days, though."

We converse for a little while, until it's time to leave.

So, that's where the nightmares started.

Yeah. Accidentally falling into the sea, getting pushed into it, and sometimes taking a dive off the cliff on purpose.

Thomas must've been so confused about them. It's probably for the best that I've temporarily ducked out.

Will it be temporarily, though? If I get back, I'll probably unintentionally find a way to ruin everything again.

But I can't let Logan keep two jobs forever. He'll get burnt out sooner or later, and then we'll have a bigger problem.

Maybe...

No. I'm not ready to be replaced yet. And who knows what'll happen to Remus? I just need a non fatal way to get rid of the nightmares.

But how? I've tried almost everything. No food before bedtime, healthy sleeping schedules, no alcohol...

Nothing seems to work.

I shut my eyes tight out of frustration, and suddenly, I'm in the imagination.

Not just anywhere in the imagination. I'm in the garden. The roses look a bit wilted, and one of them is half cut off.

Apparently my grip on the gardening scissors wasn't strong enough. That explains why I didn't have the symptoms Remus had.

"Why am I here?" I question out loud.

I get no answer. I try going back to my room, but to no avail. "What the...?"

Maybe I need to do something with the flowers. I grab the gardening scissors again, and finish cutting the rose.

A strong pain reaches my chest.

Still not awake.

More flowers lose their head.

Why aren't I waking up?

My entire body is burning.

Knock, knock.

I finally snap out of it. Tired. So, so tired.

"Roman? Are you okay?" Patton. Of course. He's always been so caring.

I don't want to think about why. My eyelids seem so heavy. Moving my mouth is a task.

"Yes, Patton, everything's fine," I mumble with difficulty.

"What was that?"

I crawl closer to the door.

"Everything's okay," I say through the keyhole.

"Are you sure?" Please shut up. "You seemed a bit upset after dinner, kiddo." Obviously.

"I'm fine, Patton. I'll see you again at breakfast tomorrow, okay?"

Patton sighs. "Okay then. Adiós, buddy."

I hear his footsteps fading, and then I pass out from exhaustion.

Short Summary: Roman suffers.

Question of the day: What's your favourite animal?