Catching Capecitabine

Chapter Six: "Thief"

Nimina walked into the room, her nose upturned sharply and her back ramrod-straight. Her eyes looked far above Jacob and Boznia's head, piercing through the manager's skull.

"Hello," she said. Her accent was not exactly Israeli, but close enough that people often mistook her accent for it. "I'm Nimina."

"Yeah, yeah," Jacob said, waving at her to sit down. "We know. And you 'didn't do it' and you 'weren't there to lock up' and you have 'short-term memory loss'—"

"Well," Nimina said coldly, "I'm not making any excuses. I did it. Yes, arrest me. I am the mastermind you've been searching for!"

Boznia and Jacob looked at each other. Could it really be this easy?

"You stole from me?!" Beagle screamed. "I trusted you! You lying, conniving, dirty thief!"

Suddenly, he grabbed a box of ice cream cones from the freezer and threw it at Nimina's head."

"OW!" She screamed. In retaliation, she reached into the freezer, pulled out a large pack of jalapeno poppers and hurled it towards Beagle. He ducked just in time, and the bag hit the floor. The bag burst open, and little ice-covered jalapeno popper crumbs flew everywhere.

"You just cost me more money, you sicko!" Beagle yelled. He picked up the bag shrapnel, stuck it haphazardly in the freezer, reached in once more, pulled out a box that advertised frozen, one-minute teriyaki chicken, and leaped at where Nimina was standing.

Nimina side-stepped, and the box and Beagle's wrist smashed into the granola bar island. He jumped back yelping.

"If I knew I would get in so much trouble for stealing a Snickers bar, I wouldn't have done it!" Nimina screamed suddenly.

"Huh?" Jacob asked.

"What?" Boznia asked.

"A Snickers bar? Those are like, a dollar and forty-eight cents!" Beagle exclaimed.

"Wait, wait, wait," Boznia said, trying to regain control of the situation. "Whoa, so you... didn't rob the store?"

"Yeah, I did. The candy bar." Nimina said.

"No, I meant 'rob' as in—I don't know—rob."

"Yeah, I commited a robbery."

"So you did?"

"Yeah, the candy bar!"

"No, did you commit the robbery?"

"Yeah, the candy bar!"

Boznia groaned and banged her head on the side of the granola bar aisle. "I meant the robbery—the one a few weeks ago."

"Oh, I stole the bar today."

Now Beagle could not resist butting in. "Today? But you were smiling in the break room!"

"Yeah," Nimina said, looking Beagle square in the face. "I didn't think it would matter."

"Wouldn't matter?" Beagle repeated. "That's it. I'm firing you."

"You fired me?! Why don't you fire the person who committed—as the young lady said—the robbery. Also, I'm your finest cashier! No one can compute numbers faster than me!"

"Except for a calculator, or, like, someone who doesn't work in a CVS." Jacob muttered.

"I heard that!" Nimina cried indignantly. "Fine, I quit."

Nimina tore off her name tag and threw it on to the ground. Then with three swift stomps, she broke it. "Have fun with the mess," she taunted as she jogged away, her pantsuit illuminated by the moonlight that was filtering through the windows.

Moonlight. Was it night already? Jacob checked his watch, and, sure enough, it read: 8:33 p.m.

"I have to be getting home," he said to Boznia. "Let's wrap this up."

"Me too," Boznia said, nodding her head. "All right, Beagle. Go get Henry."

"Yeah," Jacob said. "We're going to beat the information out of the kid, whatever it takes."

Beagle frowned.

Boznia jumped in, saying, "No, we're not. If this leads nowhere, we'll just make a report on what we learned so far."

Beagle nodded, then left to get Henry.

* * *

"Hi," Henry said as he sat down, "I'm Henry."

"And I don't care," Boznia said, irritated. It had been a long day, and all the interrogations tired her out.

"Hey, Boz—" Jacob said.

"Don't call me that," Boznia warned.

"—why don't I take this one?" Jacob finished.

"Really?" Boznia asked. "Actually, that would be nice. Remember: no 'good cop, bad cop,' okay? Just 'cop.'"

"That... doesn't make sense at all," Jacob pointed out.

"Yeah, I know. My brain's fried," Boznia told him.

"See? This is the perfect time to practice my new skills!" Jacob said, excited.

"I guess, as long as you can handle it."

"I can, I can!" Jacob said. "I won't let you down!"

"Good," Boznia said. "My grade depends on this."

"Uh, hello?" Henry interrupted. "I'm still here."

"Oh!" Jacob exclaimed. "Yeah. All right, let's start."

"I'm ready whenever you are," Henry said.

"Well, I'm ready now," Jacob said.

"Then I'm ready too. That's what 'I'm ready whenever you are' means." Henry asserted.

Jacob gave him a dismissive hand flip.

"Jacob!" Boznia said, and smacked his arm. "No more!"

"Sorry," Jacob mumbled. "Okay, Henry. What's your name?"

Boznia sighed, and walked away. Upon finding a cozy spot wedged between the potato chip aisle, the heater, and the pasta aisle, Boznia fell asleep, the warm air from the heater on her back.

"All right," Jacob said to Henry. "Your hands have been fidgeting the entire time. What are you hiding?"