Dangerously Broken

Big birthday party

Today is victors 18th Birthday, The boys are organising a big party at The Criss estate out at the lake.

I got up doing my usual morning routine. I wasn't exactly in the mood for a party but Victor was one of my good friends so I had to put up a face and act happy for them.

God forbid I ruined one of my friends 18th birthdays I'd never forgive myself if that happened.

I went down stairs and sat in the living room to read a book. Today was Saturday after all. The boys were doing boy things today so if get picked up later in for the party.

While reading Patrick came down and quickly gave me a kiss and hug before leaving out the front door to the trams am.

"Love you!" Patrick called out fast over his voice

"Love you to!" I called back then went back to my reading. I was reading a book on Holland tradition and what it's like there.

"You make him so happy." I heard from next to me to see Mr H sitting in his recliner reading the news paper as usual.

"He makes me really happy to." I admit with a small smile on my face.

"I'm glad he met you, he seems different now. He was known as the town phycho but now he's just Patrick the boy whose head over heels for a ruthless girl." Mr H said almost in a daze as if remembering the old times before they met me.

"You know my reputation?" I asked nervous suddenly scratching at my arm.

"Yes I'm well aware of who you are. Hayley Coburn. From a small crappy town in south Australia who was sexually abused at a young age and watched her mother, younger sister and step dad be murdered while they Tortured you." He begin listing things off that not even the boys didn't know about.

"He was not my step father, he was nothing but garbage to me." I said in a sudden dark tone that sparked something I couldn't quite register.

"He abused me and my mother for years. Beating us and making me cut until I had scars. I wanted to kill myself But I actually wanted to kill him so much more, and that pathetic excuse for a family he had. I'm only regretful that it wasn't me that killed him and the rest of them." I said in the same deadly dark tone seeing the spark in his eyes widen more.

I realised what the spark in his eyes was...fear. he was afraid of me. I suddenly got up and bolted out the house. I ran and ran until my lungs burned and begged for air.

When I looked up I noticed I was in the middle of the forest, I started running again until I came across the quarry. I slowly walked to the edge and sat down starting to cry.

I cried and cried until I was a sobbing mess and couldn't breathe. I didn't want anybody to know what happened to me, to what happened to my so called "family". Nobody was supposed to know.

"Nobody was supposed to know. How the fuck did he know?, how? They can't know, they can't know what happened to me. They can't know just how fucked up and dangerous I am. They'll fear me just like he did. I can't let that happen I'll go phycho if I lose them. NOBODY WAS SUPPOSED TO FUCKING  KNOW!!" I wanted until I finally screamed at the too of my lungs.

***

I walked back to the house, hesitating before opening the door. I placed a fake but realistic smile on my face walking in to see Mr and Mrs H sitting with the boys in the living room.

Upon hearing the door they all turned to look at me. I got a mixture of different looks. Mr H gave me a fearful look but his it well. Mrs H gave me a surprised and greatful look. The boys gave me questioning looks.