Mend It || A False Starts AU

April 5, 1994

"Drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with with your self-esteem. They're no good at all." - K.C.

••••

I can feel the springs in the double bed bounce as Kurt moves to free himself from our tangled sheets. My light stage of sleep is the only reason I noticed, otherwise I would've slept right through this disturbance. "Kurt?"

A low 'sh' comes from the man as he twists his upper half around to look down at me. His toned arms becoming more visible as the blond leans over the bed to kiss my forehead. "Go back to sleep Blossom."

"Not until you come back." I'm exhausted. Not thinking clearly as I reach out to grab his wrist before the man can fully pull away. "I'm cold." Kurt visibly sighs and that's when I notice the tension in his shoulders. He was going to leave. Disappear without a trace to a place I'd probably never find him again. "Don't Kurt."

His blue eyes are locked on the wall behind my head rather than my own. Purposely avoiding the emotions he knew would come from it. "I just... Need to go home Rose." I must not have noticed my grip loosen around his wrist because next thing I know, he had pulled away. Striding across the room where I must have thrown his shirt the night before, keeping his back facing me the entire time.

"You don't need to go home Kurt." By now I had tossed the sheets off my body, stumbling on my tired legs a bit before grabbing the singer's elbow. He tenses at my touch, once again looking anywhere but at me when I spin him around. "You can stay."

He shakes his head, chuckling darkly as my hand falls from his arm back to my side. "This isn't going to change anything. You begging, that's just prolonging the inevitable." With those words, he finally locks eyes with me. A once inviting ocean turned stormy. "We had a good night Rose."

"So what, I'm just a toy to you?" My heart was breaking with his words and I can't help but wonder where the sweet guy from a few hours ago went. "That's all I've been this entire time? The one you couldn't get so you kept poking until I finally gave in..."

His features soften, realizing that his words had stung a bit more than he meant for them to. "Rose you know that's not-"

"No, I think it is the truth," my voice cracks, "You saw me as a challenge and now you've conquered it. Good job. Just what I needed after everything I've been through in the last forty eight hours."

He tries to reach out, to grab my hand and tell me that everything is going to be okay, but I know good and well that everything won't be okay. Somewhere in the last four years I fell for him and there's no turning back now. I can't just wish my feelings away in hopes of not hurting.

"Blossom."

"Maybe you should go," My arms wrap around my torso as a physical attempt to keep my emotions together. "Back to your perfect life with your perfect wife and perfect child." By now my words are laced with venom, poisoning the man more and more with each one.

I have no time to react when Kurt grabs me by the elbows, spinning me around until my back is slammed hard into the wall. It's not often that Kurt is rough with people, only when he really needs to get their attention. "I told you last night I filed for divorce Rose. I'm not going back to Courtney, but I also need to get out of California before she finds me. The woman's going to be on a warpath."

"If that's the case, why go to Seattle Kurt? She's going to find you just as easily there." His neck tilts down, forehead falling against mine as he releases a stressed sigh. There's something he isn't telling me.