That One Who Was Destinied

My boring life

"You're pacing out again, Reina." A sudden voice pulled me out of my trance.

"Huh?" I asked. Shaking my head to wake myself up.

"Something wrong?" Tiffany asked.

"Nothing." I smiled at her.

"You know you could always swap with me right? Pulling 20 hours of work isn't going to give you a life, Reina." she stated fixing her make-up and uniform on her bag pack. She already ended her shift and got ready to go to school. She is after all a working student.

"It's fine Tiff. You should just worry about your school and your own shift, I'll take care of the rest.   Anyway, my life is fine the way it is." she just looked at me with scorn before she excused and left. Yeah, my life is fine. I just scoffed at the thought of it when I knew it myself that it's not fine at all.

My shift went as usual, doing this and that, cleaning here and there. Being in a fastfood industry isn't as easy as picking and giving, it wasn't just collect the garbage, throw it out or mop the floor and you're done. Imagine only three people in the kitchen managing everything and when night comes there's only two of you till dawn. When people thought, you're just there standing and getting paid after 15 days when the truth is you're as tired as fuck. When your eyes had dark circles on them but still they say you're okay. When you're losing weight and people say you're on a diet. When you smile and laugh but deep inside you're dying. Who would care anyway?

I opened my phone after leaving for work but what I see just made me sigh, my contacts had 180 people listed on it but I wonder why I don't see a single message at alll. Why do I need a phone again? Ohhh! music. Right! I needed it to listen songs to comfort myself or probably to livin' up my boring life. There's wattpad too!, I remember I love to read and write. And of course Youtube! damn! GMMTV, GMM25, IQIYI, WETV etc. How could I forget my faves. And there's Facebook too, I got to let people known or unknown know I'm still alive right? Instagram! How could I forget, at least stalking my faves brightens my day. Oh! I still need my notepads to store food recipes. I guess I still am living like a normal person or does a normal one's life revolves around this? Shouldn't I go out? Hmm

Arriving home, i just washed up and went to sleep after setting my alarm for 12pm. Well, 4 hours is enough sleep. With how far the place I live with my workplace I really need to get ready earlier in any case of traffic or transportation problem. Better ready.

When I got up, I checked my phone after cancelling my alarm tone noticing notifs from my IG, FB and Watty. Getting up, I scrolled down to check only to find all my notifs on facebook are not even for me so I just ignored it. When i checked my IG, i had a Like on one of my posts and new posts from my faves. I scrolled down to put some like on them before completely getting out of bed to prepare leaving my place not even bothering to eat at all.

Boring isn't it. How I live my life right after I decided to stop my studies. I haven't given up my studies completely just yet because I thought if I work I would be able to continue them but time after time I would receive call of messages asking me to pay for some debt so I ended up not even  saving just a bit because what's left is just enough for transportation and some for daily necessity. I sure wish I'm a daughter of some big shot that I don't need to think about these things.

Sometimes I do wish I don't think at all, that I'm selfish as everyone says, that I'm useless so I won't botther to anything but myself only. Then again, God gave me a brain that functions and a heart with a soft spot. I just find myself waking every night crying or crying myself to sleep blaming myself for the life that I'm leading now. At 27, yet I see no acheivement at all. I would try to put the blame on somebody else to feel a bit relieved, even blame the one above for forsaking me but reality just hits me too hard in the face telling me it's my fault.