Ice Age: Collision Course

Chapter Seven: Geotopia

        "Please keep your arms and legs inside the tram at all times. But, allow your spirit to roam free! In Geotopia!" Brook announced as the herd went gliding through the mountains of crystals.
        "Oh I have a good feeling about this! Maybe he'll be able to help us!" Peaches said excitedly up ahead.
       "She did say he knows all! And all's a lot!" Jullian echoed. Sassy looked all around her, staring in awe at the millions of crystals and gems. It was breathtaking.
        "No wonder they live in here. It's beautiful." She commented absently to Denali, who stood right next to her on their little hover crystal.
         "Yeah...beautiful." Denali answered absently. Sassy turned her head to look at him, only to find the male wolf staring at her. She quickly snapped her gaze away and pretended like she hadn't heard him. They reached a platform and all exited their hovering crystals and followed Brooke.
         "Here he is. The master of meditation. The supreme serine. The four time heavy golds champion of the world!!!" She sang as she presented a large mountain of crystals with something reddish and looking oddly like a butt on one leg. A gong rang and a head poked out of the butt. The herd stared and then the thing untwisted itself and swung its limbs around until it stood upright on one leg, and spit into some kind of bowl that an anteater flew up to capture. Sassy took a step back. She'd seen a lot of weird things in her time but this took the cake.
        "Is that a llama? I hate llamas! They spit and smell!" Granny cranked and waddled off.
        "So does she." Diego muttered to his mate.   
         "So do we!" The twins exclaimed and high fived. The llama bounced off the mountain and performed a bunch of twists and flips with his legs until he landed on the ground and walked over to an incense burner on his ears, the anteaters vacuuming up the various crystals on the ground in his path and then his fur, which tickled the llama.
         "Grrrrrrreetings mammals!" He said jovially, rolling his Rs. "The Shangrillama will see yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuu now!" He said, looking at them upside down while holding an incense stick.
        "Wonderful!" Buck jumped forward and looked around. "So where is he?" He asked the llama when not seeing an animal of importance.
       "He is here! Talking to you!" The llama replied.
        "Oh I get it! He's a ventriloquist and you're the dummy!" Sid exclaimed, confident he'd figured the whole thing out.
        "No you're the dummy." The llama replied cooly, throwing the incense stick away.
        "No you're the dummy!" Sid said again. The two went back and forth.
        "This is the guy who's going to save us?" Diego asked. Sassy sighed.
         "I think I'd rather get hit by the meteor." The llama spit over Sid's head, silencing the argument. 
        "Disgusting! Loved that. New topic. We're all about to die!" Buck said, making his presence known.
        "Well that's no good. Stress is a killer. Let us loosen our limbs and open our minds. Downward dog!" Shangrillama announced and immediately rested his forelegs on the ground with his butt in the air. 
        "Ok as a wolf and a canine I find that just insulting!" Sassy said pointedly.
        "Same goes for me." Denali said in disgust. The llama didn't seem to hear them.
        "Uh, seriously?" Manny asked him in disbelief.
        "I'll wait. I have all the time in the world!" The Shangrillama said patiently. Manny and Diego groaned and then they and Sid forced themselves into the position. Diego looked at Sassy expectantly and she shook her head.
       "Nope sorry. Not doing this one. We're already scheduled to die and I don't intend on killing myself beforehand." Denali chuckled and Diego glared.
        "Actually, you don't have all the time in the world. None of us do. See there's this thing in the sky." Buck explained, gesturing up through the crystal ceiling where the glowing light of the asteroid was clearly visible.
        "Oh you mean that blinding light that seems to get bigger by the minute? What about it it seems fine to me!" The Shangrillama said happily and then twisted himself into another position.
        "With all due respect your twistiness, that is an asteroid! It's magnetically attracted to this place an' it's headed straight for us!" The llama spit again.
       "Ahhhh it must desire our magnetic crystals. And well who can blame it they really are quite something." The llama said, rubbing against the crystals. "Did you know their power grants eternal youth!? I am over 400 years old! Mhmmm!"
       "That's not possible." Diego countered.
        "Sure it is! I'm 326!" The bunny said, jogging in place and then moving to spinning pushups.
        "No way! You don't look a day over 275!" Granny commented.
        "We are happy, young and safe, and we always will be. Thanks to...Geotopia!" The Shangrillama said, the last word echoing throughout the place.
        "Kudos! It is lovely! Now let's figure out how to launch it into space!" Buck suggested with a grin.
        "I'm sorry you want to destroy our home?" The Shangrillama asked distressed.
       "It'll be destroyed either way! But, if we propel this magnetic substance into the atmosphere, we can divert the asteroids path and save everyone! Waddaya say!?" The Shangrillama just grinned at Buck a moment.
       "Caterpillar!" He yelled and flopped onto his back, curling his legs into himself.
      "So is that a yes or-," Diego didn't have time to finish before the llama grabbed his and started stretching the saber out with his legs.
      "You are storing a lot of hostility in your lower spine!" He said and once he was done Diego landed on his hooves in the namaste position.
       "Shangrillama how are going to-,"
       "Monkey Chicken! Jiggy jelly! Mashed Potato!" The llama interrupted Manny and started bouncing all over the place.
         "Your flexibly is a sight to behold. Now how th' devil are we goin' to launch these crystals!?" Back demanded.
        "You can't! It's impossible!" The Shangrillama announced innocently. "Phew I am bushed." He hopped back onto his mountain and twisted himself into the same position they saw him in. "Great meeting you guys. Feel free to hang or you know, whatever." He offered while talking out of his butt. He spit one more time then stuck his head all the way back in.   
       "That's it! He was our last hope! We're doomed." Peaches said, close to tears.
        "Yeah and all we got was a free yoga class." Diego said bitterly.
        "On that note, could somebody help me please? My nose is dangerously close to my butt!" Sid pleaded, hoping over to them on one leg, his body tangled around into a knot.
       "Uh Sid? Why do you have two tails?" Diego asked even though it was clear he didn't want to know the reason.
       "I'm in here too!" Granny called from the bundle of fur. Sid chuckled nervously. The herd untangled Sid and Granny and then all collectively went their separate ways with their significant other, wanting to spend as much time with the one they loved as they could. Sassy walked through the winding paths of Geotopia, exploring, trying not to think of what was coming in a few hours. She would die. And what had she accomplished in her life? She thought about it...and had to smile. She'd accomplished more than she gave herself credit for. She survived being raped and losing her babies, and made a name for herself as one of the toughest and most feared alpha's across the continent.
       She had joined a herd that was crazy and diverse and completely different than anything that was normal in the animal kingdom. But she loved it. She was an aunt to a mammoth, best friend's with two Saber tooth tigers and had survived more dangerous adventures and escapades than most mammals couldn't even have lasted two minutes. She heard footsteps behind her and sniffed the air and allowed a small smile to cross her maw. And she was in love. For once in her life, she was in truly in love.
       "Did you want to be alone?" Denali asked from behind her. She shook her head.
       "No. Stay." She swung her head around to look at him with soft eyes and a smile. "Please." He smiled back and joined her in step as they walked along the path. They emerged facing a small, sapphire blue pond that several of the other members of the herd were gazing out at. Peaches and Jullian, Diego and Shira, and Manny and Ellie. Sassy smiled and sat down. Denali sat beside her and they just looked out at the peaceful water for a moment before Denali spoke up.
        "Sassy...," she looked at him and felt her breath catch at the intensity in Denali's eyes as he gazed down at her. "Chances are we are going to die in a few hours. But even if we weren't in danger, I'd be doing this anyway. I'm not the type to drag things out and dance around." Sassy stared at him, confused.
       "Okayyyyy?" She asked, cocking her head to the side. Denali took a deep breath and then stared directly at her. Amber met amber, both burning with the same intensity and fire that was in their hearts.
       "I love you." Denali said. Sassy was silent for a moment...and then she smiled.
       "Ditto." Denali reared back, startling Sassy. "What's wrong!?"
       "Are you serous? You love me!?" Denali asked in shock. Sassy chuckled.
       "Believe me, it definitely took the end of the world to make me realize it this soon. If our lives weren't about to end, it would've taken me forever to admit to myself that I was in love." Denali continued to stare at her, eyes wide, mouth agape. Sassy began to get annoyed. "Are you going to keep staring at me like a stump or are you going to make the most of out of our last few hours together?" This seemed to shake Denali out of his shock. He shook his head and then looked at her with dark eyes, a smirk creeping its way onto his maw.
      Sassy barely had time to say in her head that she was in trouble before the larger wolf tackled the female and pinned her to the ground and slowly, sensually, drug his tongue up her fluffy neck. Sassy shivered in pleasure and grinned at Denali as he pulled away to gaze down at her adoringly. He leaned forward again but they were interrupted by a rumbling sound. The ceiling began to shake and the crystals around them quivered. Suddenly, the top of the meteor they were in collapsed, exposing all inside to the open, outside air. All was quiet for a moment and Denali looked down at Sassy. She sighed.
       "Sid."