Avengers And Peter Parker One-shot (currently Editing)

Lost

TW: Depression, self harm, suicide

Hey everyone this chapter will be short and sad. Enjoy please!!

Peter's POV

I'm tired.
Tired of people.
Tired of Flash.
Tired of faking my smile.
Tired of blames.
Tired of deaths.
Tired of failing people.

Everyday. EVERY FUCKING DAY. I would hear flash saying "You're useless, a nobody. No one loves you. I wish you can just die. You're so pathetic and you're such a failure. " He say that like he means everything. It's probably true. I am useless. I am pathetic. I am a failure. I am weak. Maybe if I was better then none of this is happening. Maybe if I didn't get angry at uncle ben then maybe he would still be alive and happy.

I'm lost.
Lost in the darkness.
I'm lost in this nightmare.
Lost like a puppy trying to find it's owner.
Lost witout guidance.
Lost in a cruel world.

I wish someone can find me. I wish someone can guide me. I wish someone can lead me. I wish someone can be there for me. I wish someone can save me from this cruel world.

Will there be chance?
Will someone be there for me?
Will someone find me?
Will someone lead me to the light?
Will someone be by my side when I'm alone?
Will there be chance to save me?
I wish there is.
Will there be someone who will love me truly?
If I was gone. Will there be difference?
Will people notice?
Will people finally realize my pain.
Will people get sad when I'm gone?
Probably not.

I know.
I know I'm useless.
I know I'm not important.
I know I'm worthless.
I know I'm a failure.
I know I was just your temporary happiness.
I know I'm weak.
I know I'm a burden.
I know I'm a bother.
I know I'm annoying.
I know that I need to fight the darkness alone.
I know that you're lying.

I wish I didn't know all of those lies you told me. I wish I knew that when you said that you would never leave me it was all a lie. I wish someone will finally see how important i am. But i also know that no one will know that. I wish I knew that no one was gonna stay beside me.

If only if I knew that you would leave me soon. I wish I didn't feel the happiness that i felt when I'm with you guys. I wish you didn't treat my like you loved me. I wish someone will see that I'm depressed. That my smiles are fake. That the words they say can hurt. That they are hurting me. That I'm in pain. That I'm not happy anymore. That I'm tired. That I'm lost. That I'm giving up. That I'm deciding whether i should live or die.

I have decided now.

"Karen, can you tell the avengers that I'm sorry for being a bother and that I would never bother them again? And tell them that they won't see me again. I know that they meant the words they said to me. I know that I was annoying. Tell them that i hoped that they still loved me. Tell them I love them even if they hurt me. Even if they don't love me back. Even though they hate me. Tell them I said goodbye." peter said tears rolling down his cheeks. He can't fight. He doesn't want to fight. He was losing. He smiled.

His last smile.

The end

Sorry for a sad one but idk if i should continue this or not just tell me if you guys want more. I hoped you enjoyed this. And sorry for a short chapter.  And I'm sorry if you guys are confused but tell me if you want an explanation and a continuation. Just comment.