The Lilly Within the Ashes

Ch 14

Jason
I wake myself up early, not that I was really asleep any ways. I was so worried that my Angel would wake up through out the night and try to leave my arms before I could try to talk to her. All I want to do is explain myself. How? I'm not exactly sure, but I need her to stop being afraid of me. I can't go through what I had to do to get her to trust me the first time.

I notice she starts to wake up and my grip on her tightens. I don't want her to leave my arms but when she fully woke up, her delicate hands try to push me away. "J-Jason please let m-me go." She whimpers into my chest. "Will you let me explain myself if I let you go?" She nods her head slowly. I remove my arms from around her and when she bolted from my arms to move to the other end of the bed, a pain pulled inside of me.

We sit in silence for a while since I didn't know how to start this conversation. When I was about to say something, I'm quickly interrupted. "I want to go home." She whispers softly. The serious look on her face showed she was not joking.

Anger starts to explode through my body and the will to calm myself down is thrown across the room. "THIS IS YOUR HOME!" I scream. She curls herself into a ball. "N-no it's not. My ho-home is-"  I interrupted her this time. "YOUR old home is in ashes Lilly! THIS is your home now! You're not leaving!" Tears and sobs start to wreck through her and her body started to shake. "Please." she whispers. "Please let me leave." The anger is gone and the pain of sadness returns. "You can't leave me. I-I need you Lilly. I need you."

She looks up at me with tears streaming down her face with her bottom lip quivering. "You don't n-need me." Once those words left her mouth, the want to just grab her and tell her that she was wrong almost became unbearable. But I kept myself still. "You're wrong Lilly. I do need you. As much as I know you need me."

Lilly
I stared at the broken man in front of me. I never would of thought I would be terrified of him again, but he always seems to prove me wrong.

Sobs were still coming from me and were the only thing heard in the silent room. He was silent and sat on the other end of the bed, staring at his hands in his lap. Wanting to get this over with, I calm myself down and speak. "I know you-you're in a gang." His head instantly shoots up and a look of surprise and shock is written all over his face.

I don't know why he was so surprised I figured it out. I mean the hints were right in front of me since the beginning. From when he pulled his gun out on Anthony when he came back, knowing my parents and looking for their killer, and the deal breaker was him coming out covered in blood that was not his. I mean I'm not stupid.

He didn't say anything after my abrupt conclusion. "Are you going to kill me now that I know about you?" I wasn't scared if he did have to kill me. I mean I wasn't going to loose very much. I have no parents, no friends beside Maria and Anthony, and no home to go back to. Strong arms grab my shoulders, forcing me to look at Jason's face. "Are you fucking serious right now! Don't ever think of that again! I will never hurt you! How many times do I have to tell you I am protecting you?!" Shock was all over his face.

I started to cry again and his hands instantly let my shoulders go and tried to wrap his arms around me. I push him away before he can even get me in his hold. "I need to be left alone right now. I-I need to process everything."

He removes himself from the bed hesitantly and slowly walks towards the door. Without turning around to look at me he says," I will give you the rest of the week to yourself, but Saturday we are going to talk." He leaves the room and shuts the door softly. I hear him stomp down the hallway towards his office and a slam from his office the door makes me wince.

Jason didn't return to our room that night or the following nights after that. Relief but also sadness were the two things I felt for the next couple of days. Relieved that I didn't have to talk to him or see his gorgeous face. Sad because I miss my best friend and the crush I had for him was surprisingly turning into something more. It wasn't love but it was shocking that I still felt something for him even after everything that has happened.

I stayed in the room for the rest of the week. I didn't see Anthony and I didn't converse with Maria when she dropped off my food that I barely picked at. I haven't even showered. The natural erg to take care of myself was no longer there and instead I was just sitting in a bed staring at a wall for hours and at night I would cry myself to sleep.