𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑

twenty.

THE BED FELT EMPTY as she was the only one who laid on it. today would have been a day in which timmy would be cuddled up against her.

but timmy had other plans. the fighting only increased as it only worried y/n. she couldn't stand the thought of him being gone. she would hate herself for it.

y/n walked down stairs as she made herself some toast and some coffee. it was theo's turn to watch boris, he had been happy to be back, as new york only brought horrid memories of his mother's death.

y/n as always continued to read until she saw the mailman drive away. she then put her book down as she went outside and expected a letter from her parents, but instead got one from timmy.

y/n shut her door as she leaned on it. opening the red letter that timmy had sent, wondering as to why he even sent her a letter in the first place.

✧˖*°࿐

dear y/n,

my love, my soulmate, my everything. you may be wondering as to why i have written you a letter, and i can assure you that most of your questions will be answered in these letters. y/n, you will forever have a special place in my heart, i will forever love you.

and i can assure you that you'll never leave my mind nor my heart. as you were my first love. my special love. i am so sorry for have being a dick towards you these last couple of weeks, it hurts to know that i have hurt you. i am sorry for all my mistakes, i never intended to hurt you. yet i know that i did.

you don't know how much you mean to me, how you make me feel. you drive me insane, my love for you is unconditionally. and i am sorry to say that i will hurt you some more after you've read this letter.

you always made me feel special by you just kissing my cheeks or stroking my hair with your finger or by making me chocolate chip pancakes in the mornings or by kissing my neck and leaving love marks as you tell me how much your love me or by being confident around me as you would undress right in front of me. you always made me feel special.

i had always thought you were something exquisite, something wonderful. the first time i laid my eyes on you, sophomore year of high school as you walked down the hall next to sadie. you made butterflies erupt in my stomach.

i wish i was kidding but i'm not! you did that to me. let's not get started on the day i actually talked to you when we were at the liquor store, that indeed was the best day of my life.

you're nothing but lovely, everything about you is lovely. the way you talk, the way you think, the way you feel, the way you express your feelings, the way you help your friends, the way you laugh, the way you say 'i love you', the way you make me feel. is lovely.

i can keep going on and on about how much i love you but words could never describe how much you make me feel or how much i love you. and i want you to know that you mean everything to me, everything!

i have never been so in love before, or in love at all. but that's what you brought to me, you brought me love, you showed me love. and i love you for it.

i love you for being you. as i've probably said it a million times, i love how you made me feel. from the big to the little things. you always made me feel some type of way.

even if we argued for hours and i made you cry you still managed to say a simple "i love you" before you left. and i adore you for it. you're so full of beauty.

now i have to tell you what this is all about. i'm leaving and i am now breaking my promise to you. we were going to get married as we grew older and live happy together. and now i am afraid, because that will never happen.

my family has decided to move to italy, for i will spend the rest of my teenage and adult years there. i know how it makes me seem, how i just now decided to tell you.

but i thought it would hurt more if i told you in person. and it would, it would hurt way more. so i am sorry for this. you don't know how this makes me feel, i am in pain.

and i don't want you to think that this is your fault because it isn't! for this is why i am saying that you'll forever be in my heart and in my thoughts.
we will be miles away and it breaks me.

but you'll never leave my thoughts. and i know that you'll want to go look for me once you're done with these letters but that will not be possible.

i put this envelope in the mail office as i drove away to the airport. i am long gone my love. and i couldn't be more upset. i swear that i love you. i love you, y/n l/n. with all of me. i swear.

i wish you best of wishes! i hope you find someone who will make you feel the same way i made you feel, or better yet...make you feel even better. for you have only brought me happiness and love. i adore you my princess. i love you. forever and always.

love,
timmy chalamet.

ؘ ✧˖*°࿐

y/n read the last word on the last letter as she sobbed. she sobbed uncontrollably, she then held onto the letters as she walked out of her house.

she ran and ran and ran, making it to his house. which was completely empty. no one was around. she cried some more as she tried to open the door only to find it locked.

"timmy!" she screamed as she went around the house. she climbed the tree that was outside timmy's room.

only to see that it was empty, she was able to open the window. she climbed inside and fell to the floor, sobbing.

"why? why?" she yelled as she punched the wooden floor.

she looked around his room and saw nothing until she noticed something sparkling against the light. she walked towards it, a heart shaped locket hanged from one of the closets hook. she opened it and saw a small image of him, smiling widely.

a small note sticked to the wall. she grabbed it and read it as she held the necklace with her other hand.

you don't listen do you?
it's alright though, my love.
as always, i love you forever and
i wish you the best. this necklace
is for you. keep it, please. so you'll
always have a piece of me with you.
i love you.

- timmy c.