Finding Her Voice

5:40 a.m.

"Did she get the loopy juice? How come she don't talk?"

Taryn's heart was pounding so loudly in her ears that she hadn't even heard Saraya padding down the hallway and sneaking up beside her in the doorway.

"Hey, hey, little lady!" Benny swooped in and scooped up the pajama clad girl. "It's still not time to get up yet."

"And it's still not time to baby that patient like she's your little sister, Benjamin!" Nancy yelled from the desk.

"How the hell do you expect us to sleep with all the yelling in here?" One of the girls who'd spent an hour or so in Taryn's hair salon earlier bellowed from her room. "This place sucks!"

Benny set Saraya down and looked up at Taryn, his goofy face all scrunched up, making it even goofier than usual. "You okay, Tay? You look a little pale."

"I'm fine," she snapped.

A sharp crack in the hallway outside the wing made them all turn their heads.

"What the hell?" Another of the mayonnaise girls called, peering out of her room.

Nancy came barreling down the hall, screaming, "Get in your closets NOW! Move! Move!"

She darted into the first room, pulled a half-asleep Donovan out of his bed and shoved him into the closet. "Stay down, stay quiet, no matter what."

She pulled the door shut as she left the room and threw herself straight into the next one. Mayonnaise girl slammed her door, and others began to do the same as the loud cracks outside the wing grew louder,  closer.

Rose was trying to push a file cabinet against the door.

Taryn had never heard gunshots before.

She looked at Saraya. The little girl was surprisingly calm. "Can I go in her room?" she asked, pointing to Kya's double. "She has two big closets."

Taryn grabbed her hand and pulled her into the room. Saraya curled up into a tiny ball at the bottom of the closet farthest from the door, covering her head with her hands. "I done this before," she said.

"Stay really quiet," Taryn said. "You'll be okay. We'll be right here."

Kya was out cold in bed, the loopy juice having taken full effect already. Taryn struggled to lift her up. "Benny!" She hissed.

Another shot. Glass shattered. 

Holy shit. Was that the door to the unit?

Benny was frozen in the doorway, his eyes huge. Taryn grabbed him by the arm and yanked, hard. "Get in here!" She pulled the door shut.

"Help me move her."

"Rose...shot..." Benny whimpered.

Taryn's blood felt like ice in her veins. She couldn't think about it.

Another shot, this one so loud, so close she could feel its vibrations. 

So much noise. Metal screeching and twisting, glass crunching. What was that?

Crying. No, stop crying, don't make noise...Screaming...Nancy...

Footsteps. Heavy. Slow. Hollow.

Taryn reached for her phone. She could barely feel her fingers, but she saw them shaking.

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"

"Someone's shooting - Jackson Behavioral Health - there are kids here, 12 I think. Maybe 13. He shot a nurse. Maybe both, I don't know. Hurry."

"Police officers are almost there. What's your name?"

"Taryn."

It was quiet. Why was it so quiet?

"Taryn, where are you now?"

"Patient room. All the kids are in their rooms, in the closets."

"That's good. The police are almost there. You should hear the sirens any second now."

Before she heard the sirens, she heard another gunshot, and another sickening thud as a body fell to the floor.

And then nothing...

The 9-1-1 operator kept talking til  Taryn heard the sirens and the clamor of the police entering the unit.

"You were all very brave," she said.

The door burst open and Taryn instinctively threw her hands in the air.

"It's okay, you're safe now," the police officer said. "Let's get you all out of here."

"The kids are hiding in their closets," Taryn said.

The police officer nodded and motioned to his partners. They moved on to the rest of the rooms.

"Can I come out now?" Saraya's muffled voice called.

The officer went over and opened the closet and helped her out. "Hey, there, Saraya!"

"Hi, Officer Mike! Did you stop the bad guys again?"

"This one kinda stopped himself," the officer said. 

Saraya nodded, wise beyond her years. "My mama's last boyfriend did that, too. I was kinda glad."

Benny's eyes were glazed and faraway.

"He saw one of the nurses get shot," Taryn told the officer. "I think he's in shock."

Officer Mike called over his radio for an EMT, while Saraya cuddled up beside Benny. "It's okay," she told him. "I was really scared the first time I saw somebody get shot, too."

A tear slid down Benny's cheek. In that moment, Taryn felt awful for ever griping about how cheerful he always was.

Officer Mike looked at Kya, still sleeping peacefully, and gave Taryn a questioning glance.

"She had some medication right before....everything. She'll sleep a few more hours. She had some trauma already."

She took a deep breath, and looked the officer in the eyes.

"And so did I," she said. "A few years ago. But I need to report a sexual assault, because I think he did the same thing to someone else that he did to me."