My Many Misstakes

ow

I have no idea how...

But I think I may have sprained my leg from going on a walk.

DONT CLICK OFF ITS FUNNY I SWEAR-

So I woke up right? Typical Monday.

Just kidding its 3 am and I'm eating apple cinnamon cheerios things in a the bathtub while I watch meme compilations on YouTube.

After I finish my 4 hour bath, I go for a jog round the apartment.

It's fun and I'm dying yadda yadda.

I get back and sit down and a title wave of pain just completely floods my body.

Boi you'd think I was having a panic attack from how much a fucking weezed.

Dad walks in the room.

"What now?" He says

What now?

WHAT NOW?!

"BITCH IM HAVING A BLOODY HEART AND YOUR RESPONSE IS "WHAT NOW"?!!!!!!"

Is what I would've said if I didnt mind getting my ass beat for being "disrespectful" or whatever.

I told him my leg hurt, he got me some ibuprofen, problem solved!

I went through the rest of the day, I slept, I woke up, I cursed loudly.

Alright so it hurt way more now.

Told dad, got medicine, continued my day.

The 3rd day is when it really started stinging like a bitch.

I woke up screaming at like 4am. Ma runs to my room "what happened?!"

I tell her - through tears might I add - that my leg "doesn't like me."

Looking back, I feel hella dumb...but like whatever I was in pain alright?!

So mom said in the sassiest tone she could "do we need to cut it off?!"

Obviously, I said yes. So she grabbed a saw and- nah I'm just kidding. That'd be interesting though!

She said I cant go to the ER since we still needed to re-instate our insurance or something like that.

She called a doctor, they said to do 20 minutes on and off with an ice pack. We did.

My leg would go from extremely painful to numb and I hated it.

Dad said when he was younger, there wasn't a good way to do that, so his mom put him in icy water for half an hour and then boiling water for half an hour to remove swelling.

It seemed like less of a big deal now.

I spent most of the day on the couch, and when it was time for bed I just slept there.

I woke up with sun in my eyes and a completely numb right leg.

It would've been fine if I just went back to sleep.

But no. My bladder wouldn't let me off the hook that easily.

I shouted through the house "I gotta take a piss!"

Dad stumbled into the room to help me up. I couldn't move my leg though and I couldn't sit down. Basically my right butt cheek and downwards was paralyzed.

Dad had to clean the bathroom a lot. Then I decided to just fuck it since I couldn't get a cast or anything.

So now here I am. Hopping around on 1 leg like a flamingo. Or a dumbass. Either way's accurate.

Alright I'm tired as balls so I'm gonna sleep now.

Night wattpad!