Bellarke- Arkadia High

You provide me safety.

Clarke's PoV:
"What?" I ask, just checking what I think I've heard.

"I...I love you Clarke." He says.

I adjust myself in bed, pulling the duvet up slightly. He still sits there, with the blanket over his legs.

"You love me?" I ask I shock. I like Bellamy, I'd happily admit. But I don't know that I love him just like that.

"Falling in love with you was the easy part; it's admitting to myself that it happened that's hard. You see I've had these very efficient defences for so long and you didn't even notice them. How rude. I guess they were meant for others and you had your own door. I could ask why, but what's the point? You're here and I'm so glad, even if I'm sometimes hiding, imagining a distance instead of seeing you right there."

"Why do you love me? I'm just an ordinary girl Bellamy." I say, trying to question his honest motives.

"Because Clarke...when you smile at me I feel invisible hands wrapping around me making me feel safe. When your eyes are locked on mine, it's like I can see galaxies instead of just pupils. Having you in my life makes me feel like everything's possible in this world, like I can conquer anything. I don't regret meeting you and I know you might be my first but what I really wish in life is for you to be my last. Although I have been with other girls before, I have not loved them. I have never loved any girl before apart from O. But now, I love you. You don't have to say anything, but at a lonely moment like this, you bring me so much comfort and peace in my heart, it's like you can sew it back up once it's ripped again."

"I need you Clarke. More than you know..." he says.

I'm shook. I don't know what to say.
Because I don't say anything for what feels like a century, he gently but gloomily bows his head down, sensing that perhaps I don't feel the same way. His mouth become low and his eyes have no light. It's at this moment, I realise he really does need me.

I lift his chin up with my thumb and index finger, and his eyes connect to mine.

"If you need me, I'll always be here." I say. His eyes become illuminated in the darkness of my bedroom and his whole mood becomes enlightened.

He lays down on my bed and I lay my head on his chest. Although his chest is protected by a layer of clothing, I can still easily detect a thumping heartbeat.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

It calms me. It's like a drum with a regular rhythm. Continuous. Never to end. Just as I'm about to close my eyes, I comprehend something.

I'm in love with him.

He never leaves my mind, he's always there; mentally if not physically. It's just incomprehensible. He's my one stable force, my one stability in a world filled with chaos and I so desperately need that in my life. I love him so much for that. I'm in love with him and I can't believe I've only just realised it.

This feeling is so strange; it stretches throughout my whole body. It's overwhelming, yet makes me feel complete. It has no bound nor length nor depth; it's just absolute. It feels as though I'm in a dangerous fire, yet I'm completely safe at the same time. It feels as though someone's given me peace. It feels as though my heart is dancing around my chest; and a hole, I was never aware was there, has been filled. I feel so light, like I'm on top of the world yet my heart is constricting and it feels as if there's no oxygen in my lungs.

It's strange – frightening even – how you can go from someone being a complete stranger, to then being completely infatuated by them and wondering how it ever was that you were able to live without them, because you sure as hell couldn't imagine being without them now. I know we're only young, and most people would consider me to be foolish and naïve, but it's true when I say that I love him more than I could ever love myself. He's my best friend and, as cheesy as it sounds, he's my anchor. My one stability in this world filled with chaos.

I love him.