dont hurt me (spooky)

cuatro.

"Where's Cesar?" I asked Oscar after he explained what had happened the previous night.

"School." He answered, lighting up a cigarette.

"Why am I not at school?" I asked him.

"Fuck, I dont know. Ask yourself." He said. I just rolled my eyes. He took Cesar to school and he couldnt bother to make sure I was awake for school? I looked at the time on the oven. 1:40. School would be over in a few hours, meaning there was no point in even going.

"I'm hungry. I'm going to walk to taco bell." I said, turning to leave the house.

"You're at taco bell, what do you want?" He asked. That made me laugh but I knew he was right. There was nothing there they could make that he couldn't, and he'd probably do it better.

"You're not cooking for me." I said crossing my arms.

"And why's that?' He asked.

"Because if you cook for me then I'll owe you something, and I don't want to be in debt." I answered.

"I've been cooking for you for years la compañera. And technically you already owe me for last night. What do you want?" He asked me. What the hell did he mean? I owed him for last night? Fuck that. And what exactly did he want from me?

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"You don't have anything better to do today?" I asked him.

"Nah, the blocks been pretty quiet lately." He responded.

"Isn't that a good thing?" I questioned. Wouldn't he want it to be quite? He said it as if it was a bad thing. Him and his cholo friends didnt need to be running around pointing guns at each other all the time.

"Not always. It's been a little too quiet. Been stressing me out n shit." He answered. That surprised me. I didnt think oscar actually felt things.

"You? Stressed? It's not april first, stop messing with me." I said, shoving his shoulder.

"crees que porque soy duro no me estreso?" He asked me.

"Eso es exactamente lo que pensé. y no me hables de ser duro." I responded. He just laughed.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked him.

"You just did." He smiled. I loved it when he smiled. People didn't often see spooky smile so when he did it made them feel a little better.

"Okay, well I'll ask you anyway." I said. I was going to ask if I could ask him another question but that would have been another question.

"Go ahead, hermosa." He replied taking a long sip of his drink.

"I don't know how to ask this.." I started. I really didn't know what I was about to ask or how to say what I was feeling. My mind had been confusing me lately, what if what I was feeling wasn't real? Maybe I just liked the attention. What if I didnt actually like him the way he liked me?

"solo dilo princesa, todo estará bien." He reassured me. I've never heard him say anything so nice to anyone in my entire life, it through me off. I was too scared to ask him in english, so I copied him and explained myself in spanish.

"creo que me gustas. Creo que realmente me gustas. Últimamente he estado pensando en cómo solo quiero lo mejor para ti. No solo quiero que me folles, quiero ser tu novia. Realmente me preocupo por ti." I said. It was hard to say but I said it. I said everything had been racing in my mind lately. I couldn't get my mind off of him and I knew that really meant something.

"Are you sure?" He asked. Suddenly he wasn't joking around anymore. He seemed very serious. I just nodded my head not knowing what else to say. Obviously he would just tell me we couldn't be together. Primarily because of my age. People couldn't know that we were together or he could get in big trouble. Another reason I knew we couldn't be together is that it would make me unsafe. People would want to target the girlfriend of spooky.

"Lo resolveremos. No me iré de tu lado, y eso es una promesa. resolveremos esto juntos, solo tú y yo." He said while looking me in the eye. He rested his hand on my knee and suddenly I felt like everything would be okay, and maybe it would be. Fuck. How would I tell Cesar? How would I tell all of our friends? Would we have to keep it a secret from them too? It felt wrong to keep something this big from Cesar but if I told him he'd freak out, and rightfully so.

You just can't help who you fall for. But also if I kept this a secret and we stayed together until I was legal when i finally told then they'd be mad i hid something so big from them for so long. But if we hid it from them and we didnt work out I would have to explain why I all of a sudden had a problem with oscar. I'd have to explain why I all of a sudden couldnt go to the diaz house, let alone stay the night.

And what if I told them and somehow it got out. I had a feeling jasmin listened a little too close to our conversations that she wasn't a part of, her fat ass mouth would tell everyone. She's not exactly stupid either, she'd figure it out soon enough. None of them were stupid, they would all suspect something. Especially monse. Monse always suspected something was going on even when it wasn't. She already hated oscar enough, but if she knew he was dating a minor? Forget about it.

"So now what?" I asked him. And that's when our conversation ended. One of the Santos walked in talking about how he needed oscar for something. Oscar pulled his hand off of my knee as soon as he heard the door, it was going to be hard getting used to sneaking around, but I would do it for him.

"I'll be back in a few hours. We can talk then." He said, and with that he was gone.

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