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the day before part 2

the day before part two

biology went by very slowly, which i was greatful for since i had my next class with taylor and jordan. as the time grew closer the voices in my head started talking *you ready to get beat up wimp, you know you deserve it, your so pathetic that you dont even fight back* i didint respond to it, i wished it would go away *why dont you just kill youself already, oh wait, your gunna do that tonight, well i dont think your ready, you better destroy yourself more, your not cut up enough yet* i cringed because i actually agreed with it, i wasnt cut up enough yet, as soon as the bell rang i dashed off to the bathroom and took a pin off my lanyard and began to cut, in my head i thought *one slice two slice three slice more, five slice six slice whats one more* then i put it back on and went to class.

as soon as i sat down i felt the stare of jordan and taylor on me, the teacher blabbed on then said we could do work on our own and listen to music, i pulled out my bigger headphones out of my bag because i wanted to block everyone out, they were my little pony, i put on some music and started on my work, soon my song ended and i heard talking, "my little pony, hah thats for wimps" it was taylor i quickly put my music back on, soon enough the bell rang and i hurried off to english.

i sat down at my desk at kelsey smiled and waved at me, i forced a smile and waved back, yanna was sitting behind me, she was a nice girl, soon the girl who sat in front of me came and she stared at me then said "your makeup looks horrible, why do you even do it like that, its stupid" i simply mumbled "i dont know.." and burried my head in my desk and started to cry, nobody noticed, the teacher told me to pick my head up and i had to hold back the tears, i didint pay attention to anything during that class, the doodled knives and and cuts and people hanging themselves in my notebook, soon the halfway bella rang and we got up and went to lunch, kelsey ran up to me and asked "hey are you alright?" i looked at her blank stare, feeling tears starting to brew in my eyes, not able to speak i shook my head no then lost it, i started crying the hardest i ever had in my life "shit, come here come here" she held me then i burried my head in her shoulder as she lead me to the lunchroom.

right when we got to the table i slammed my head down and cryed more, as kelsey rubbed my back, understanding whats been going on, kelsey invited brian over and he talked to me, "hey whats wrong bella?" i lifted my head up and opened my mouth slowly then closed it, then poured everything out "im being bullied constantly, im yelled at at home, there voices in my head, i cut, i want to starve, im going to kill myself tonight, yes yes yes" i stared at him and he stared at me shocked "i-i" he said. before he could say anything i got up and bolted to the bathroom and waited there untill the bell rang. then i left the bathroom and left my lunch on the table, i wasnt hungry anyway.