Separated

Part 5

Jack couldn't bring himself to return home right after leaving Stevie. He knew he shouldn't have kissed her. He overstepped the boundaries with someone, who could have been a good friend to him. He believed that his actions ruined whatever he and Stevie had built between them. Jack doubted she'd want to see him again. 

It was dark and rather chilly outside, when Jack, having wandered around quite a bit, found his way home. Quietly, he unlocked the door to his house and walked in, leaving the lights out. Todd, his son, his pride and joy, had to have been asleep for a while now, he hoped his wife was sleeping soundly as well. 

Slowly, dragging his feet, Jack went up the stairs and turned right to go to the bedroom. The door was closed, but he could see dim light coming from underneath. With a sigh, he reached for the handle and entered the room. Melanie sat in bed, her back resting against the headboard. She didn't even acknowledge him, a book in her hands. 

The air was filled with tension, but neither said a word. Jack took his time undressing, leaving his clothes on the floor, something he knew had to irritate his wife, but still, she didn't say anything. 

Once he got into bed, Jack lay down with his back facing Melanie. He closed his eyes and hoped to drift off quickly. However, as soon as he shut his eyes, Melanie decided to speak up.

"So?"

Jack hesitated, then echoed her. "So?"

"What happened?" Melanie asked impatiently, her book on the nightstand, forgotten. 

"Mel..." He sighed. He didn't want to talk about it. 

"I mean, you came home late, I can only assume that-"

"Nothing happened." Jack interrupted. "Well, we kissed. I kissed her, but... I shouldn't have."

"Why not? You like her and I think she likes you, too." Melanie shrugged as if the conversation they were having, was completely normal between two married people.

"I can't do this. This is insane." He turned around and sat up straight. "I- I do like Stevie. She's a good, caring woman. She's one of the first people, who welcomed me, well us, into the neighborhood and I think we could have been friends, but I don't think she'll ever want to see me again."

"Don't ruin it, Jack. You've got a great chance with her. I think Stevie would make a wonderful mother to Todd, when I'm gone."

"Stop!" Jack shouted. "Stop saying that, stop reminding me that you're going to die!" 

Melanie remained quiet for a minute, letting him calm down. "That's our reality, Jack. That's my reality. I'll be gone, probably sooner than later and if I at least can know, who will take care of my son, when I'm gone, I'd like to know that."

Melanie was sick. She had had symptoms for a long time, but she ignored them, always busy with work, her family. Busy with life. When she came to a point, where she could no longer lie to herself that she was fine, it was too late for an attempt at a successful treatment. She didn't want to constantly think about the time she had left, she didn't want to be reminded of the number of months she had left. However, she loved her son and she loved her husband. She wanted someone to take care of them, when she was no longer with them. It would probably sound insane to the majority of people, it certainly sounded crazy to Jack, but it was her wish after all.

"I do like Stevie and I enjoy spending time with her, but Mel, you're still my wife, you're still with me. I..." He trailed off, suddenly feeling the coming of tears burning his eyes. "I can't force myself to start something with another woman, while I still have you."

"Not for long, Jack." Now Melanie herself was getting emotional, her voice sounding hoarse. "I love you and you deserve to be loved. I want you to be loved, when-" She stopped herself, he did ask her not to repeat, what she was about to say. "I love you." She repeated instead, a smile on her face, her bottom lip trembling.  

And she did love him even though she was pushing him into another woman's arms. She simply didn't want to leave him alone and lonely. She wanted him to be loved.