today the wind blew two hard and the clouds dripped tears, and i couldn't go to the library.
however, i had made plans to meet up with him, to see him at the library on this very day. i knew i shouldn't go outside in the dangerous weather, but i was being blinded by love. i got on my rain boots and my rain coat and started my journey to the library.
when i got there, there was no one around, just the silence of rain slapping against the pavement to comfort me. i began to leap, spring from puddle to puddle, sending ripples through the pools of rainwater built up on the sidewalk. a smile began to form on my lips as i did so, thinking about how childish i looked.
behind me, i heard the ringing of a bell. once i turned around, i saw a boy on a bike coming towards me, jacket hood up so i could only see the bottom of his face. but by that grin, i knew it was him. it was ashton.
"hey babe." he greeted me. after i waved hello, we decided that we should go back to his house and get out of the terrible weather.
he lived in a two story flat, which he shared with the other boys. all of their parents helped buy it, and when i asked what he did for money, he said he was in a band, and he also worked in an ice cream parlor on the main street. of course, he didn't right now, since it was getting closer and closer to winter.
we began to make sandwiches when we got there. we rid of our rubber coats on to the rack and took off our soggy shoes. i sat on the counter and took apart the slices of bread, while ashton took out a jar of peanut butter and jelly from the cabinets.
and while he was reaching out to open one of the drawer doors, i saw something that brought a heavy feeling in my stomach. i was put in a frozen solid state, watching him as he walked back towards, still smiling obliviously at me.
"whats wrong?" he asked when he noticed me staring and frowning at him. he put down the jar of peanut butter beside me, then leaned his hand on it. i swallowed, reaching for his hand, that was closest to me. my fingers wrapped around his wrist, and i felt him tense.
"that's not how you get the sadness out, you know ..." i murmured softly, lightly; turning his arm over and making it face us. lines were slipped up his arm, dark colors of plum and scratches of red running along the pale flesh of his exposed limb. scars, scars that weren't fresh and had dulled over the months.
"i know." he replied with a quiet sigh. there weren't many, but enough that it was noticeable of how upset he must have been. it hurt to see, and i didn't want to look, but it was like driving by a car crash. i couldn't, because i didn't want anyone to be hurt, not him. and i knew he wasn't hurt, not anymore, and that he had learned that the true way to replace sadness with happiness was to spread love around himself, to admire other people and to breathe in kindness and breathe out kindness.
"i'm happy now, i'm happy that you're here. i'm happy that i'm alive, with you ..." he told me after we were silent for a few moments. he unlatched my fingers from the lower part of his hand, raising it up so his fingers brushed away stray hairs that had fallen in front of my face.
"i'm happy too. ashton, you make me happy. you make me happy when you smile at me, when you smile at other people. when you wave to those toddlers reading their books in the childrens section of the library, and they wave back with so much joy, that makes me happy. you make me happy when you let dogs walking along the sidewalk lick your hand. ashton, you are such a beautiful person, and even the smallest things you do, make me happy."
and then i experienced it, the embrace i had been aching for weeks. he pulled me in, wrapping his large arms around me tightly. his nose pressed into my shoulder, and we both collectively breathed in, drowning in each other's light and warmth. this was all i ever wanted since the day i first saw that smug grin of his and found myself undeniably in love with him.
he was all i ever needed.
a/n: i think this chapter is pretty crappy buutttt i just wanna let you all know that ilysm and i hope your days are amazing ok bye beeeebs
