Yoosung had barely had any time to react before Saeran ran away and shut the door behind him.
He sat there, trying to replay the moments before and realize what just happened. They were just talking, when Yoosung said something stupid, as he does. Something about being paid for being cute. Saeran said something sarcastic, as he does. And Yoosung may have implied that Saeran was cute, which he didn't even realize he was doing before it was too late. He remembered feeling stupid about it, like Saeran would hate him for thinking that or something. But then suddenly, out of nowhere, Saeran leaned in and touched their lips together. That was what happened. Saeran kissed him. Saeran kissed him!
And Yoosung enjoyed it. Of course he did. He couldn't lie to himself, he often thought about kissing him before. But that was a weird new discovery about himself that he wasn't sure he wanted to go into. So he didn't. He never planned to do anything about it. But there Saeran was, kissing him. Fulfilling the daydreams that he always pushed away. And it was just as he imagined. Soft and sweet, even though both of their lips were chapped.
And Yoosung couldn't even speak. He didn't even say anything about it. He was so shocked, the only thing that exited his mouth was a question. "Saeran, what was that?" he recalled himself asking.
Oh my God, Saeran probably thought the worst. He probably thought of the simple question that was the result of a fuzzy brain, as an accusation. He must've thought that he hated the kiss, that he hated him.
That's why Saeran was looking away. Eyes glued to the floor. Yoosung knew something was wrong. All he wanted to do was just kiss him again, but he couldn't. Not when he was like this.
And when he asked what was wrong, Saeran snapped and ran away.
Yoosung didn't know what to do. He knew that Saeran was probably out there, feeling bad about himself and feeling like he ruined this friendship when it was exactly the opposite. But he also knew that Saeran would probably want to be alone right now. He just needed to give him time and space. He just needed to be patient.
But he couldn't. Not now. Not when one of the most amazing people in his life was probably in pain. He didn't deserve that. He deserved everything better than that, even when he thought he didn't. He wasn't the hacker. He wasn't "Unknown". He was so much more than that. He was funny and sarcastic. He was kind and sweet, even though he tried to hide that. He was cute, physically and personality-wise. His smile and laugh were one of the brightest and cutest things ever.
All of this drove him to stand up and run after him, without any second thought.
Before he knew it, he was outside, searching frantically for him. Where could he have gone? Would he have gone to Saeyoung's house? No, probably not. He wouldn't want him to see him upset. But he also wouldn't want to go to any crowded place. He'd want to be somewhere comfortable.
Yoosung's mind went back to a conversation they had before.
"Hey, Saeran? You like ice cream, right?" Yoosung once asked, trying to make conversation. It was the first time they hung out, and things were still kind of awkward.
Saeran nodded, shyly, looking up from the floor to him.
"Well...There's an ice cream place on my street! It has every flavor! Chocolate, strawberry, cheesecake for some weird reason... you can go with me!" Yoosung proposed, cheerily.
"I've already been there," Saeran revealed.
"Huh? Really?" Yoosung inquired.
"Saeyoung took me there before. It was too noisy, though." Saeran continued.
"Oh..." Yoosung sighed. He wanted to take him there, but apparently, he couldn't.
Almost as if noticing Yoosung's slight disappointment, Saeran added, "But there's another ice cream place around here. It's never busy. It's kind of boring but I like it."
"Oh! Well, maybe we could go one day!" Yoosung proposed.
Saeran smiled in agreement.
It seemed like that might be the place he would go. Yoosung just needed to remember where it was.
As he walked, he wondered what to say to Saeran. Should he apologize? Should he immediately break down and confess how much he liked the kiss? Should he just let him speak first? If he even spoke. But it probably didn't matter how much he prepared his speech now. He knew all his efforts preparing would go out the window once he saw him. That was just the effect he had on him.
Every time Yoosung opened the door and saw Saeran standing there, his heart would skip a beat. All rational thought would leave his head. He'd stutter in greeting him and be awkward with his movements. He'd question if he should move closer or not. If he should hug him or that would be taken the wrong way.
But what was the wrong way? Wasn't "the wrong way" actually the right way? He didn't want Saeran to ever think that he could possibly like him, he didn't think there was any way he actually did. He dismissed everything he felt, he didn't think it was ever possible. Even when he was holding back the urge to kiss him, he never thought it meant anything. He thought, "This must be just a normal thing that people experience with friends sometimes." He was so stupid with his emotions. He doesn't think it ever really clicked until he felt Saeran's lips on his.
Now he can't stop thinking about him. He can't stop thinking about what could have happened in that moment. Maybe if he reacted better, maybe if he just leaned in again. How would it feel to kiss Saeran for more than one brief second? How would it feel to wrap his arms around him and deepen the kiss? Would he ever be able to know? He wanted to. He really wanted to.
He began to pick up his pace, walking faster to the point of almost running. He needed to see Saeran. He needed to fix this.
When he saw the ice cream place, he stopped for a second. This could either end in disaster or daydreams. He approached and saw through the few windows they had, that Saeran was sitting inside. He let out a breath of relief and opened the door.
A/N the next part is out tomorrow !!thanks for reading :)
