Surrogate

Ten

Demi

I shot awake unsure as to why at first, until I felt a sharp pain in my lower stomach. I clenched my teeth together and hissed, whimpering slightly as the pain slowly subsided. My eyes welled up with tears as panic settled in my stomach. I quickly removed the sheet from around my legs and climbed out of bed, the tears now pouring freely down my cheeks. Batman and Ella woke at the movement, their tails wagging as they approached me.

"I'm okay, Babies" I gave them both a quick fuss before I left the room. I began into the family bathroom; my hand having settled subconsciously on my stomach. "We're okay, aren't we, Baby? You can't leave me now" I whispered gently as I pulled down my pyjama bottoms, the tears only falling faster down my cheeks at the sight of blood. It wasn't much but it was enough to be alarming. "Mom" my voice was frantic, a lump rapidly forming in my throat as an ache began to grow in my chest. "Mom" I called louder, the sound grabbing at Batman's attention. I was quite thankful when he started to bark because a moment later my mom appeared in the doorway.

"What's going on, Baby?" I looked up at mom, my eyes red and puffy.

"I'm bleeding" I watched mom's face crumble and my heart broke. I couldn't hold my sobs back anymore.

"Okay, Gorgeous. How much are you bleeding?"

"I-I don't-I don't know. Mom, I-I can't lose-lose this baby" she stroked a piece of hair behind my ear, pressing a delicate kiss to the top of my head.

"You need to try and calm down, Baby. Do you have any pain?" I nodded with a whimper. "Okay, Sweetheart. You finished on the toilet?" I shook my head, my hand flying to cover my mouth as I sobbed. "I'm going to go and get dad to get the car ready, okay? I'll be back in just a moment. Keep breathing, Baby" I tried to think positive thoughts as mom disappeared and I remained perched on the toilet.

"You can't leave me, Baby. You can't leave your daddies. They're so looking forward to meeting you" my sobs began all over again when I wiped, the blood on the tissue completely shattered my heart. "Please, Baby" I leant against the bathroom counter for a moment, trying to compose myself. Once I'd slightly pulled myself together, I began from the bathroom. I bumped into mom in the hallway, her eyes full of nothing but worry and sympathy. I took a hold of her hand and clutched it in mine as we silently began downstairs and out towards the car.

"You okay, Baby Girl?" I numbly shook my head, silent tears rolling down my cheeks. She pressed a kiss to my forehead as she helped me to strap myself in. I leant my head against the window, my hand on my stomach as I tried to hold back my sobs. A sob slipped out every so often as we drove. Dad was in the driver's seat, mom in the back with me, her hand clutching tightly around mine but my grip was weak on hers. I couldn't find the strength to do anything but cry.

"Matt..."

"We'll call him, Baby, okay? As soon as we get you settled" I nodded, whimpering at the tightening in my stomach. "Breathe, Baby. Don't hold it in" a strangled sob slipped out, my heart shattering in my chest. "We're nearly there, Angel" she stroked a strand of hair behind my ear.

The silence fell around us until we pulled into the parking lot outside the ED entrance. Mom helped me from the car where a porter met us with a wheelchair. The tears were continuously rolling down my cheeks out of fear for the baby. The porter took us into a private room where I was advised to change into a gown. There was nothing but silence around us, the only thing to break the silence was my occasional sniffle or whimper.

"Hi, Demetria. I'm Dr Anderson."

"Demi" my voice was nothing more than a breath.

"Sorry, Demi" I shook my head and gave her a weak smile. "And you must be mom?" mom gave her a small smile as she nodded, her hand still wrapped around mine. "I know that this is a stupid question but how are you feeling?"

"My stomach hurts."

"And you're experiencing some bleeding?" I nodded, tears rolling slowly down my cheeks. "How heavy would you say the bleeding is?" I sniffled, wiping at my cheeks.

"It's like a light period" my breathing was uneven so my sentence was a little jumpy. "I-I had some spotting at the-the start of the pregnancy, my midwife said it was normal."

"Spotting is normal but when it's a little heavier it can indicate to a miscarriage" a sob slipped from my mouth; mom tightened her grip around my hand. "We're going to need to run a couple tests but first I have a couple questions. How many weeks are you, Demi?"

"I'm 14 weeks and 4 days."

"And was baby conceived naturally?"

"I-I'm carrying the baby for my friends" that sentence alone broke my heart. I'm not just at threat of losing this baby, Matthew and Damien are at threat of losing their baby too.

"Was it IVF?"

"Erm, the-the egg they used was mine" she nodded in understanding.

"Okay, Sweetheart. Would it be okay for me to perform an ultrasound, just to see what's going on?"

"Sure" she sent me a sympathetic smile before she turned to leave the room. I turned to mom once the doctor left, tears pouring down my cheeks.

"I-I've lost the baby, haven't I?" mom stood up and moved to my side, perching on the edge of the bed as she wrapped her arm around me, her lips pressing against the top of my head as I completely broke down.

——