Bad Habit

The end

As the massacre evolves, I feel weaker. It took me almost four years to build this (huge) collection I had, yet she has already destroyed half of it in barely two hours. How unfair is that? In the end, what's the point of liking things if they get destroyed by some random strangers just because they decided that you had no right to like what you like?

While I contemplate the mess on the floor, I can't stop thinking about my mum. How could she do this to me? How could she agree to this? She let these strangers take me away, how am I supposed to feel about that? I thought she betrayed me when she opened my package and ruined my privacy, but guess I was wrong. Leaving her daughter in strangers' hands, in psychopath's hands is actually way worse.

Once Norma's done, once every single lip product I owned is on the floor, broken and empty (like me), she releases me. She sets me free with a warning: "Before you buy makeup again, remember that we will keep an eye on you."

I feel like a zombie as I walk out of this weird room to reach the moonlight outside. It is as if this was not real: not like a dream, more like a nightmare maybe, but obviously not real. Yet it is. I feel empty myself. Tired, drained, like my whole energy got destroyed with my lipsticks. I feel lost, I don't even know where I am. I don't know what to do, I don't even know who I am anymore. Guess I'll have to find myself, to create myself again somewhere else. There is no way in heaven nor in hell that I'm going back home. I can't trust my own mother anymore, she let them take me and ruin me. I couldn't look at her ever again, act like it didn't happened. She went way too far, there is no going back to how our relationship used to be.

I have an inheritance, I'm an adult. I could always leave, throw myself in the unknown world. I don't have much choice left.