"𝚒'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚜." ➳ 𝚃𝚊𝚎𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔 🔞

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ㅡ Jungkook's POV ㅡ

《You kissed me because of the adrenaline of the moment, Taehyung.》

It's obvious that he did it for that reason, we were excited and full of energy, we ran away from a dangerous situation and it's normal to act on that and get carried away by the emotions of the moment.

《I did it because I wanted to.》 He replies.

《And why did you want to?》

He remains silent, not answer. His eyes wander everywhere, he's thinking about what to answer me, but obviously, he can't. I was right, he got carried away by the situation.

《As I said.》

I turn to go back to the house, but someone, Taehyung, grabs my wrist and blocks me.

《Wait.》 I turn back to him again.

《I did it because I felt butterflies.》

He says he has made the discovery of America again.

《In your belly?》

《No, here.》 He grabs and then brings the palm of my hand on his chest. I feel his heartbeat, the heat of his skin transpires through the thin fabric.

《That was the adrenaline or maybe... a heart attack.》

He laughs genuinely at my joke, after so much I see his typical square smile again. After, he shakes his head to deny. But I know I'm right.

He pulls me towards his body and a hand traps me by encircling my side. I try to resist, to free myself from all this. I know it will end badly if we continue like this and I don't want to risk losing a friend in this way.

He is lost ... he is not ok, he does not know what he wants. How could I let myself go to all this?

I think this ... but I'm making myself do what he wants ... he is touching my face, his eyes penetrate me as if he wanted to read me. Do you want to know what I'm thinking, Taehyung?

I'm thinking that I want to feel more of that warmth that I felt under my hand. I want so much more, but I can't.

I have to stop it.

《Hyung ...》

His lips are close to my neck ... he is tracing my skin with his tongue, nibbling it. I close my eyes when he kisses me behind my ear, a sensitive spot of mine.

He moves on my jaw, goosebumps explode on my skin. He's about to reach his goal and he arrives there. The next moment he presses his lips on mine, our bodies are attacked as I back away leaning my back on a tree.

Gradually the kiss becomes more active: we begin to move our lips and without thinking twice our tongues meet to deepen the kiss sought by both. We kiss slowly but savoring every moment, without haste.

It's clear what he wants from me, but I can't give it to him, it's not fair. I don't want to interrupt this moment, but I have to.

《Stop.》

I detach from him suddenly, he moves immediately without resistance.

《Gukk, I thought you wanted it.》

《No, I don't want to.》 I reply.

《I'm sorry, I-》 He walks further away from me in an awkward way, he feels guilty.

But it's actually my fault, I sent ambiguous signals and he interpreted them that way.

《It doesn't matter.》 I answer in a low voice.

Silence falls, we both don't move. But he looks up quickly.

《No, it does matter. You always say "it doesn't matter", but you have to tell me if something is wrong.》

I understand where he wants to go, I forgave him everything, from replying badly to treating me like shit, but I did it because that's right. How can I get angry if he does this? It's not his fault, he's suffering.

《No really, it doesn't matter.》

His arms fall to his side as if he had lost a battle.

《Don't treat me like I'm a broken compass that no longer knows its direction. I know you see me like that ... but please ...》 His voice breaks as he speaks the last words.

《I beg you, don't do it too. Don't treat me like-》

《I will be your compass, I will help you find your direction again.》

I say these words in the most sincere way possible. I want him to know that he can count on me.

His eyes shine with a thousand different lights, some are of hope, others of gratitude, the other reflections are because they are filled with sadness, he is crying.

His tears don't hold up, they fall copiously on the cheeks wetting his long eyelashes. His legs collapsed, he falls with his knees on the damp earth. He tries to hold his sobs but fails.

My heart aches to see him like that, but he is finally crying. He has been holding it inside for too long.

I approach him and put myself on my knees like him and wrap him with an embrace, I grab his neck and rest it on my shoulder, letting him cry over me. His hands grab my shirt, he is sobbing uncontrollably. He trembles, stammering incomprehensible words, only a few I can understand that he often repeats: it hurts.

Inevitably, I cry with him.

ㅡ

Taehyung is exhausted. He cried for over an hour, ㅡ before falling asleep ㅡ venting everything.
Now he is sleeping blissfully under the covers I just put on him, his cheeks are red with exertion and he also has bags under his eyes.

He needed to collapse like that, I knew it would happen sooner or later and I hope he understood it too. For how long were you keeping everything inside, huh Taehyung?

Every now and then his body has some shock. I caress his hair, I'm sitting next to him, but suddenly he wakes up again.

《Can you sleep with me, please?》

His voice sounds hoarse and torn. I nod, he smiles faintly before closing his eyes again and falling asleep again.

Before I get into bed I change my clothes, putting on my pajamas, I slowly raise the blanket, trying not to let the heat underneath escape. I put myself on my back, next to Taehyung, he has his back to me.

I put my hand under my head and stare at the ceiling. I'm not sleepy, despite being late. I have too many things on my mind and my heart is confused. But now it's beating hard against my chest and the reason is only one: Taehyung.

I can't help but smile when I think of the kiss, it was unexpected at the moment but predictable. I knew it would happen sooner or later, but how will he feel about it?

How am I supposed to react? I have to follow common sense and do the right thing for both of us.

My mind travels until it finds the arms of Morpheus and I fall asleep.

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