Tales of Tears and Embers

☜︎ o n e ☞︎

Cause darling I'm right here.

A l e x

I'll hold you when things go wrong

It had taken Alex one year. One year to climb out of the despairing hole she'd fallen into and get back on her feet. In that year, she had finished Akarnae in a zombie-like haze, not quite thinking but in control of herself. Some days, she felt like she was still in the hole. And today marked the end of one year she had given herself to wallow in mopishly.

So here she was.

Mount Paedris. Standing as tall and as proud as it once did, perhaps a bit bent and broken like they all were. There were flowers around his grave, sprouting up between the rocks and twigs, beautifully deadly as always. Alex knelt down, the moist grass dampening her black leggings.

"I'm sorry." She whispered to the rise in the ground. "I'm sorry," she repeated hollowly, folding her legs into a cross legged position. "I'm so so sorry." Her voice cracked as she tucks a strand of loose hair behind her ear. The sun was beginning to set, the reds and oranges darkening, melting into blues and purples as stars began to wink into the sky.

"I'm sorry." She said once last time, brushing a trembling hand over the grave. She took one last look at the moon rising and stood, up brushing the dirt and grass off her legs. She had no more tears left to cry, couldn't cry because after so long, she still felt nothing. Empty. Hollow. She walked over to the edge and looked down. Looked down at the grass and the flowers, the birds and the bees.

She put one foot over the edge. Held it there, looking down with fractured eyes and a heart in so many pieces she couldn't put it back together. At least, by herself.

She bent the other leg and lowered herself down, dangling her sneaker covered feet over the rocky edge. Not today, she promised herself. Not today.

Looks like a girl but she's a flame

A e l i n

So bright she can burn your eyes

She waved a hand dismissively, smirking as Rowan stalked in, fury almost radiating off him.

"You let him go?" He blew through his nose irritatedly.

"We'd gotten everything we could out of him, and I didn't see the point of feeding him and wasting food." She drawled, swinging her legs off the arm of the velvet chaise lounge.

Rowan gritted his teeth and sat on a pouf on the carpeted floor. "Well I for one wasn't done with him. Aelin, you have to take him seriously. We found him waiting for us, with his bloody hands tied already!"

Aelin rolled her eyes and swept a small piece of paper off the oak coffee table next to her. "I paid a him a little... visit." She held the paper out to Rowan, who leaned forwards and snatched it from her hands, a glint of anger in his green eyes.

Stupid hormonal fae bastards. Rowan's eyes scanned the paper quickly, darting across the page. Occasionally, he'd tap a booted foot against the floor in annoyance. Expressionless, he handed the paper back to her. Just to make sure she wasn't dreaming at her husband's poker faced reaction, Aelin re read the letter for herself.

Dear Aelin, my old friend. She hissed lowly at the words. She'd never even met the man, and this letter addressed to her was found in his jacket pocket.

I hope this letter finds you well. Now, you might be wondering why I'm here, trussed up like a pig for stuffing on your doorstep. I'm here, because I want to bargain with you. But you're the Queen! You've got everything you want and need. Except, this tiny tidbit of information. All I want is for you to open a Wrydgate. To a land named Medora. And I'll give you teaser of what I could tell you.

A lot came through the gate, many died, but some did not leave.

Your dearest friend,
Alexsander.

"I don't even know this guy!" Aelin exclaimed haughtily, throwing her hands up in the air. They fell back down as he eyes widened in realisation.

"We need to find him." She said suddenly, leaping to his feet.

"And why would that be?" Rowan asked, raising a brow.

"Because I think he's talking about the Valg."

But you'll never be alone

A l e x

I'll be with you from dusk till dawn

Alex crept back to her dorm late in the morning, slinking past a sleeping Dix and crawling into her bed, emotionless eyes staring at the ceiling. She had almost done it today. She had almost done it so many other times, but had remembered what she lived for.

Akarnae was on a short break before a new year would start. Alex has accepted an apprenticeship half heartedly, only to have something to do, a schedule and a reason. She squirmed in her bed uncomfortably. It had been quite a few nights since she'd slept properly, a few hours at least, but all she managed to force herself into were short snoozes in between errands during the day.

She tried to close her eyes. But every time, every dam time, she saw them die. In this timeline and the one she was shown. She saw their necks snap, their throats slit, a stab to the stomach, an arrow to the heart. She saw their eyes cloud over and faces turn plaid and drain of life. She saw that it was her fault.

She threw off the sheets pulled on her sneakers, padding out the door silently and leaving the building. Akarnae at night was just as enchanting and as beautiful as the day, the mixture of buildings casting shadows on the grass as Alex jogged over to the Arena. The door was unlocked, like it had been for the past two week after Hunter had found her here at three am on her second day of late night practices.

She called on A'enara, the blade appearing in her hand. The flames had gotten a bit duller whilst Alex herself had gotten duller. Mechanically, she moved her feet in fighting stance and closed her eyes. She was practicing with him, she imagined. He was there, laughing away at her half-heartedly, grief clouded swings and parrying them easily. The sword fell out of her hand and Alex crumpled to the floor. It wasn't just his death. It was William's, Skyla's, Lady Mystique's, Jarvis', Mayra's, Pip's and Blink's, it was the students who fought the battle because she asked them too and they died. Because of her. Because she couldn't keep her mouth shut, even in the past.

There was so much death and she was the reason.

She needed to get out. She needed to get out, and get out now. Alex stumbled to her feet and held her hand out. She hadn't talked to the library in a long, long time. Please. She thought. Please let me go. She pleaded weakly, exhausted and drained.

You can't run from this Alex. The Library spoke up. But you need to heal. And I know of someplace for you to do so.

A door slowly began to form in the Arena, and as the doorknob solidified and she drew the door open. There were mountains and hills, streams with fish and birds and the sky was clear and blue. It felt peaceful. Safe. So Alex stepped through.