in between

19: the worst part

PoV: Kim Seokjin

a month later

I had just finished a stage performance and was already changed and ready to drive home.
These days I did not have the energy to stay after the shows, didn't want my managers to order food for me, just wanted to get to my apartment as quickly as possible.

Of course, singing still brought me joy, performing on stage and seeing my fans. But it also reminded me of a person I was painfully missing: Jungkook.

Yes, I was still thinking about Jungkook.
Every second of the past month basically. And it hurt.
I hadn't seen him again since Hobi had picked me up from Jungkook's hotel, hadn't even heard anything from him.

And even now, as Hoseok was driving me home I was reminded of the bunnyboy.
Flashbacks of me curling up in the fake leathery car seat and crying as soon as we had left Jungkook behind came rushing through my mind. The memories of this day were still so vivid but blurry at the same time.
I was sure how he had looked like, remembered every detail of him. But sometimes the picture of him in my head would change, if I focused on certain things too much.

"Jin."

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to come into your apartment. And I'm gonna sleep over, no discussions.", my best friend said determinedly, parking in front of the complex I lived in.

"What? No, why would you-"
"I said no discussions.", he smiled, getting out of the car and opening the door for me to get out.

I gulped. My apartment looked horribly. I hadn't cleaned in weeks although it had usually been something I enjoyed doing (that's why I never hired anyone to do it for me) and had ordered so much take-out that none of my rooms were in a good condition right now.

"Hobi, I really don't think you should-", I tried again but got interrupted as Hoseok fished the keys out of my jeans pocket and unlocked the door.
"You've been drowning in your low and depressive mood and I really wanna know what's going on and cheer you up if I ca- holy shit."

Entering my apartment with someone else next to me hit me with the blunt reality of how bad my living room actually looked. "Jin, what did you even do-?"

I sighed, kicking off my shoes and squeezing myself onto the couch between a pillow and an empty pizza box while Hoseok started cleaning.
"You don't have to do this now, I can clean on my own."
"Clearly you can't.", my best friend replied while throwing all the trash he could find on the spot away before sitting down on the now pizza-carton-free sofa next to me.

"So. What's going on?"
I shook my head, leaning it against his shoulder.
"Jin, come on. Why won't you tell me?", Hoseok asked, his voice full of worry which caused my chest to hurt a bit. I didn't want Hobi to worry about me, actually I didn't want anyone to worry about me. I was just fine.

"Jungkook.", I finally whispered, not wanting my best friend to suffer any longer. However, he just shot me a confused look.
"Jungkook? Ah- the bunnyboy? What about him?"
"I miss him.", I said, muffling into a pillow I had hid my head in because I was sure I was going to cry again.
"Then go meet him?"

I sighed in frustration, glaring at him. "And hOw am I supposed to do that?! I have nothing of him except his sweater and maybe his bacteria on my phone display, I don't know how long they last there."
Hoseok grimaced, then tilted his head.

"But you do know I have his number, right?"

"You wHAT-"

"I have his number? After he found your phone he sent me his location, remember? We even looked at his profile pic together, dude-"

I started crying, squealing in excitement while trying to get some words out. "Gimme AahahAAAHH give me your phOne hobi HOBiIII-"
My best friend chuckled, purposely taking his time before handing me his unlocked phone. As fast as I could I searched for Jungkook's contact, finding him under the name "Bunnyboy".

So I started typing.

HI.
[ᴛʜɪs ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ᴅᴇʟɪᴠᴇʀᴇᴅ.]

HI JUNGKOOK, IT'S ME: JIN!
[ᴛʜɪs ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ᴅᴇʟɪᴠᴇʀᴇᴅ.]

HEYEYEYEYSGHWHSIDKWKDJS
[ᴛʜɪs ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ᴅᴇʟɪᴠᴇʀᴇᴅ.]

"Hobi, why isn't he receiving the messages??", I panicked, showing Hoseok the screen.
Just in that moment a notification popped up in the chat:

"ᴛʜɪs ᴜsᴇʀ ʜᴀs ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇᴅ ʜɪs ᴘʜᴏɴᴇ ɴᴜᴍʙᴇʀ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴇɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴀɴʏ ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇs."

"W-What-?", I gulped, giving Hobi his phone back absentmindedly.
He had changed his number and had not notified Hoseok of that. Which means either he just didn't care or he got a new number on purpose, to avoid me.
I was still crying, but this time not out of relief or excitement; I was crying because I had caught feelings for someone who didn't need or want me, who basically didn't even care about me.

"Jin..", my best friend whispered, putting an arm around my shoulders, "I'm sure he just switched his phone and not because of you but because he needed a new one in general."

"But why wouldn't he message you then, if it wasn't because of me? He could've at least said something."
I buried my face in Hoseok's shoulder who tried calming me down, soon dragging me into my bedroom and giving me a warm backhug for comfort.

While Hobi was falling asleep my mind was running high. What was so special about Jungkook anyways, so special that I kept thinking about him? He was clearly just a player, not actually interested in me as he had pretended to be.

But there were his big doe eyes and his warm, tight hugs, the way he had made me feel all wobbly and excited inside, his cute laugh and sweet personality in contrast to his rather intimidating sexual side...

The worst part of missing him though was his scent. I could remember it so well, how comfortable it had made me feel, how nice it was to wake up to. I grabbed his sweater which I had stored safely under my bed and snuggled into it, feeling my eyes burn up with tears again.
Jungkook, tell me, did you really fake everything?

[a/n: Hi! I kinda don't like the beginning of this chapter, but the end turned out well imo :). Leave some feedback <3]