in between

14: limits

PoV: Kim Seokjin

I returned the little squeeze he gave my hand and continued to look at the city beneath us. I had almost forgotten how free I felt everytime I was here.

"Do you go here often?", Jungkook asked me while turning his head towards me. "Not anymore. I used to go here almost everyday but when I started trainee life I just didn't have that much time to do so. And now I feel like I'm barely in Seoul at all anymore although it's my favorite place in the wolrd."

He hesistated before answering and looked up at the sky above us which I saw out of the corner of my eye.
"You should take your time to revisit this place once in a while. You have enough money, you can take some time off.", he suggested, fully missing my point.
I let out a quiet laugh, shaking my head. "This is not about money. In the beginning, it was a bit. I wanted to make a living out of singing so I had to find ways to earn money with it, but now? I have plenty of that, passion for music is what keeps me going or else I would've already retired. Passion is what brought me into this life and it is what's keeping me there."

"Jin, don't you think it's remarkable how we're so high above the city but above us are the sky, the stars, the planets and probably a billion things we don't even know of yet and under us, there's not only the city, there's the ground and different pipes under it and so many layers of earth and-... I feel like I'm being so high up there when all I am is stuck in between, I'll never be able to reach or even know the limits of this world."

I finally looked at him, studying his face. He looked like a helpless boy, overwhelmed by nature, not like the man I woke up to this morning. But he looked so damn cute.

How should I answer his short monologue though? He had addressed me but it felt like he had spoken to himself. My arms wrapped themselves around his upper body from the side and I chose to not respond anything. I nuzzled my face into his shoulder, closing my eyes because I felt the sudden desire to feel his comfort. It wasn't exactly cold up here but I still seemed to need his warmth.

He was still glancing around, watching the stars and the city lights, talking about how the light pollution made him feel in contrast to the natural light of the stars. I just listened to his voice, enjoying how he had placed one hand on my waist and how he kept caressing it absently while philosophing about how there should be light within any darkness and vice versa but humans created light to escape the darkness.
Actually I didn't catch everything he was saying because I had zoned out a little, just focussing on this certain feeling he gave me. It felt like safety.

"Seokjin?"
It took me a few seconds to realize he had meant me.
"Yeah?"
"Why did you show me this? Why did you put so much effort into this day?"
I tilted my head. "Because I wanted you to like it? And as I kind of said: this place is quite meaningful to me because I used to go here often so I wanted to show you."

He seemed to have trouble finding the right words and kept staring at one particular star in the sky.
"But why me? Why don't you show it to people that are actually meaningful to you?"
"You are meaningful to me, Kookie!", I smiled, tugging a little on his sweater sleeve.

"No, you just want me to have sex with you later and that's why you agreed to this trip. You will drop me the moment you'll leave the hotel tomorrow or even tonight so why bother taking me to places you're emotionally attached to?"

I gulped. Although my head was only leaning against his shoulder I could hear his fast heartbeat, his body tensing up a bit as he spoke.

What bothered me the most was that he wasn't wrong. I would not have stayed with him today if he hadn't promised me to do me afterwards. But that was only half of it. There was no denying that I liked him, I liked Jungkook so much I was ready to open up to him a bit and show him what really moved me and what kept me going. I hadn't been waiting for the day to be over instead I had wished it would never end. The comfort he gave me, the bubbly feeling, it seemed familiar as well as entirely unknown. I wanted him, not only his dick but his presence, his voice, his hugs, his hand holding mine, his laugh, his hoodie, his everything.

"I want your everything.", I blurted out, exhaling a breath I didn't know I had been holding.
"You don't know me."
"Well you don't know me either, you know Jin the idol, not Seokjin the human."

He didn't respond to that, didn't look at me, didn't move, didn't react.
"Isn't feeling comfortable and safe with you a good enough reason to stay here with you?", I whispered, nudging my head against his shoulder a bit.

"You feel safe and comfortable with me?"

"Yeah, yeah I do."

[a/n: i'm quite satisfied with his chapter so i hope you liked it as well~. bts will perform black swan for the first time today hGEHEHWK u have no idea how excited i am. okie bye! <3]