Confessions Of a Priest || KAI

I

It's no secret that celibacy is one of the most important sacrament yet the most unpopular, under-discussed. I have several theories to explain this: pride, inconvenience, loss of religious autonomy. But the one that puts all in shade is a fucking confessional.

I hated it from the moment I first laid my sight upon it ㅡ a wooden little cabin, old fashioned, that seemed to be there since the Second Vatican Council. The Church from Kansas, where I grew up, had a clean penance* room, properly lighted and pleasant to the eyes, with very comfortable chairs and a small window with the parish's garden view.

This confessional was the antithesis of that room ㅡ unnatural and formal, made up of dark wood, sculpted in a very rigid manner. I'm not a claustrophobic man, but that confessional could easily turn me into one. I crossed my palms and thanked God for the success our church had regarding donations lately. Ten thousand more dollars and the church will completely become a modern building, no more dusty shutters and worn-out red carpet. Oh, the red carpet destroys the view but it's good to hide the wine stains printed on the floor.

ㅡ Do I have any penitent*, priest?

I spaced out. One of my biggest flaws I must affirm. One that I'm praying to get rid of (that, of course, when I remember to)

ㅡ I don't think it's necessary, I answered

Though I couldn't see much through that decorative panel, I quickly recognised my penitent since the first second he stepped in the confessional. Tyler Sehun, a middle-aged math teacher. He was the only penitent that I could rely on over the month, and his sins varied from envy (the school director offered a vacant post to another math teacher) to impure thoughts (which implied the reception lady from the Sports Hall in the Platte town). Even if I knew that other priests had other rules for penitence, I am the kind that would simply say Read Ave Maria two times then call me tomorrow morning. Those sins of Tyler Sehun were caused by stagnation and lack of rest, and several hours of holding the rosary* won't change anything as long as he doesn't approach the main cause.

I know that. I was in his place.

And, besides this, I really liked Sehun. He was funny, in a mischievous and unexpected way, and he was the kind of man that'd invite hitchhikers to sleep over in his house, on the couch in his living room, making sure that the next morning they will leave with bags full of food and a new blanket. I deeply wished to see him happy and settled down with a family. I wished he would focus all those abilities in building a fulfilled life.

ㅡ No penitence for you this time, but I have a little mission dor you to accomplish, I told him. Think about your life. Your faith is very strong, yet you lack direction. Besides Church, what else passionate you? Why are you getting off your bed each morning? What gives sense to your daily activities?

Sehun didn't answer. I could hear him breathing.

A prayer later, Sehun was all left leading to the school for the rest of the day. And if his lunch break was almost over, that meant my confession hours were done. I checked the phone to be sure, then stretched my arm to open the door. But I stopped when I heard the other door of the confessional cracking open then I got back to my seat masking a sigh. Someone made themselves comfortable on the chair. It was one of those days when I had the rest of the afternoon free and I couldn't wait for it.

No one besides Sehun ever comes to confess. No one. Exactly in the day when I wanted to leave earlier...

Focus. I whispered to myself

That someone adjusted their voice by a little cough. A woman

ㅡ I... Uhm... never did this before.