Ethan Adams

Bonus #1

Ethan has a beard. Or like, stubble but it's a beard. It's growing out and since his hair's longer now, it's wild and unruly and I don't know what to do.

"So, do you like it?" He asks, proudly showing off his angles.

"It's... something."

This was the last thing I expected when he called me to get on Skype for an online date. Our colleges being in different states means that we don't see each other physically unless it's vacation time, and I was really excited for this. Now I'm just shocked. Like, to the point I don't know what to say. And I'm never speechless like this with him, not anymore.

"I know it's something." He says cutely. "But do you like it?"

"I'm not sure." I admit. His face falls. "Sorry."

"You hate it?"

"No, it's just- "

"Oh my God..." He says.

My heart starts beating fast, and I begin to feel guilty. It's our first date in weeks and I'm making him feel bad. "Ethan..."

"'Leese, you couldn't even pretend? For me?"

His tone of voice is telling me he's upset with me but the fact that he's using a nickname is promising. Maybe he's kidding around but I can't tell. So I don't push it.

"You look good!" I try but he's pouting. "Seriously Ethan."

"Thanks." he grumbles. However, I can see he's trying not to smile at me. "Should I shave it?"

God, it's so weird.

"No." I tell him. "It's yours, it's good."

This time, Ethan lets his smile shine through. It's a relief to know that he's not entirely angry with me, but I do know that he doesn't let things go that easily, and can hold a helluva grudge. The next time I see him, he's probably going to indirectly bring it up over and over again until I begin to rethink my decision to speak truthfully.

I lean into the camera. "How's your mom?"

"She's good, got her hands full with Leah." He chuckles. "You know, yesterday I was on the phone with them and she can't say my name correctly, right? So she's calling me Me-fan. It's so cute."

I grin at him. "That is really cute! When are you gonna see her next?"

"Next weekend."

"Oh. I thought you were flying down here next weekend...?"

He stops being cute all of a sudden. "See, about that..."

Ah. My face falls. He doesn't meet my gaze.

"... I know the semester's over and I initially planned to move in with you, but I think I might... actually stay up here with my mom." He explains.

"Oh, that's fine. For how long?" He makes a face and it's not at all cute, or bashful or hopeful. I frown. "Are you staying for the whole summer?"

"I don't know." He sighs. "I mean, maybe? Maybe even longer?"

"Longer." I repeat.

"It's just... you know how it is. My sister's just started speaking and walking now, and my friends and I, we've got plans this summer and I don't want to miss anything. You know, I have a life up here and it's more home to me than San Diego is at this point."

I stare at his bowed head. My hands shake at his statement, and I try not to overthink it but it's hard to not overthink your boyfriend saying he's not at home when he's with you. Or in the same city as you. Same difference.