It's Impossible (Berlin X Palermo)

I Will Fight For You

Berlin's POV

Last night with my wife Tatiana was excellent. I've planned to make these last 2-3 years of my life the best she's ever had and will have. The monks had helped me find a nice Italian restaurant that was just perfect for the occasion.

But unfortunately I couldn't focus on the beautiful woman I had in front of me no matter how much I tried. I promised myself that I wouldn't think about Martin, but it was just too difficult. Not only had I cheated on my newly found wife, I'd done it with my best friend. Now he will have to go far away and all I can think about is how messed up this situation has become.

The truth is, I am desperate to feel attracted to Martín. The connection between us is just extraordinary. He's been by my side for ten years, never complaining about my choices nor my actions. Honestly, I knew that he was in love with me all along. It was way too obvious with the way he looked at me, talked about me, touched me... But I am just unable to feel the same about him. It's not my fault that I was born liking women. I just like them too much. Does he really think I haven't tried to reciprocate his feelings? That's the whole reason I even kissed him yesterday, to try and please his desire but... It was just like I told him, impossible

Tatiana's POV

I woke up to find the other side of the bed empty. I am used to Andrés getting up early, but he was nowhere to be found in the house. I quickly put on some clothes and go outside to the yard.
Soon enough, I see him sitting and talking with his brother. These two are like chalk and cheese. Complete polar opposites, one humble and the other egoistic. Hah.
I bet that if I get a bit closer I could hear what they're discussing about.

"Come on Sergio. Why can't you just be happy that I've got a nice circle of friends around me for once?"
"No Andrés, can't you see what is going on?"
"Oh dear brother, what have you found out this time?" He laughs
"Martín is head over heals in love with you and you know it"

What? I must have heard that wrong. Martín? That just can't be true. Andres and he have been friends for years, he even helped us organise the wedding! I have to hear more.

"Sergio-"
"He has been following around like a dog for years, serving your every desire. You think that I can't see the way he looks at you?"
"Listen Sergio"
"No you listen to ME! I will not allow you to ruin another marriage, because of that untrustworthy --"
"STOP. Do you take me for an imbecile?"

His brother sure seems to not like Martín.. I hope he doesn't have the same feelings for me.

"Brother, I know how he feels about me.
It's clear. But you don't understand the love we have for eachother. It's extraordinary, unique, marvelous"
Andrés says to his brother.

I can't believe this. I think to myself

"You married Tatiana for a reason. Don't you love her?"
"....."
"Andres, tell me."
"Of course I do" that's a relief "But I won't deny that I also love Martin"
"Do have any idea what you're talking about? You've said it yourself many times, you only like women"
"That is the problem Sergio. I love him, but I can't give him what he wants. The bond we have is strong, I can feel it, but as you know I really like women"

No no no no no. This cannot be happening to me, why me? Did he marry me to just get over his own feelings for his best friend? Am I just the destruction? I don't care to hear any excuses from him. I am leaving. Tonight.

Sergio's POV (professor)

After talking with my brother, I storm out of the monastery. I just don't believe him... Getting married to a woman and then using her as a mechanism to push away any homosexual feelings.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Martin for being gay, nor would I have any negative emotions against my brother for being the same. What annoys me is how Andres will mistreat Tatiana. She doesn't deserve this. Poor woman, loved a man who will die in a couple of years, and then got pushed aside for another man.

Hold on -I stop in my tracks- Do I hear... Someone crying?

I walk over to the backyard to find Martín sitting on the grass, holding a bottle of alcohol and almost silently crying. I must admit I had never seen him so broken, his face was full of sadness. So I slowly approach and sit beside him.

He looks over at me
"Well you did it. He finally told me to get our of his life. I hope you're at least happy now." He tells me and takes another sip of his drink.
"Martín I swear, I had nothing to do with whatever you and my brother have been up to... But, what exactly happened?"
I ask, hoping for an answer
"I fucked up. I crossed the line yesterday."
"What do you mean?"
"I kissed him Sergio. And he kissed me back"
".................."
"He told me he loved me, but then left me for that bitch Tatiana"

I wanted to get mad at him. I wanted to tell at him for taking advantage of my brother like that. But I just couldn't help but empathize with him. He sounded so hurt, betrayed almost. If Andres really said he loved him, why would he leave him and then tell him to get out if his life?

"Martin, what did he do?"
"I thought he liked me, I thought he wanted me. He fucking pinned against the wall and kissed me. But he just pulled away saying he 'couldn't feel the attraction' " he replies, wiping off some of his tears. "He left me there, alone"

"Maybe it's time for you to either find someone else to love, or fight harder for him."
"You are okay with me and your brother?"
"It's not my place to decide what's good for him or not. If you think that you'll make his last years his happiest, then I'm fine with it"

Martin gave me a warm hug and I patted him on the back. I just hope that Andres chooses the right person to be with.