Kokichi x Reader - Not that easy

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TW: Cutting
Gender: Neutral

"We are breaking up."

I starred at the ground. I'm not crying. I am..numb.

"..Why?"

"Hm? Why? Well, there's a variety of reasons."

"Tell me.."

"Mainly I'm bored? Even when I am here you just read. I need someone who talks and listens to me, you don't do that. You always watch Shuichi. I notice even if you don't see it. I mean, when you are, it doesn't make me feel good."

"Ah, that. I guess it can't be helped. Besides, I also....I also didn't like being with you."

"Wait (Y/N), where are you-"

I need..to go..to..my room..

I sat on my bed.

I really am a terrible partner..?

I won't cry.

Just hoping.. To get killed.

Someone like me.. Don't fucking deserve to live anyway..

How could I thought.. That I would be a good partner in a first place?

I'm..horrible..

Huh?

"DAMMIT! I DON'T WANTED TO CRY! I NEVER WANTED TO CRY AGAIN! I-... I am..weak.."

And so, I cried my eyes out. Screamed, destroyed my room and cut my wrist and watched the blood going down my arm..anything..anything..to..make me feel better..

And then..after all of this..

I felt..

Numb all over again..

The next day, I decided to go to the dining hall.

I sure looked like a mess. I didn't care if he saw me like that...

I..didn't care about anything at all.

The last reason I had left to live.. Left me..

Why did I even got here in the first place? Because I want pity?
Was it.. That?

Then someone sat beside me.

"A-Are you alright? You've been starring at the table for a while now."

"Oh? Me? Yeah, sure. Thanks for worrying Shuichi.."

"Ah..I see..Sorry if I ask you that, but why isn't Kokichi with you? You are like- always together?"

That's right..

HE was always sitting next to me. Talking. And I .. Really liked that.

But he wasn't there anymore. And I don't think he will ever be again.

Why do you even care?

I just starred at the table once again. I don't wanna talk anymore..

I can't talk anymore....

And I can't move.

When I am at the edge of crying, I can't talk, can't move, can't do..anything..

I didn't even looked at Shuichi the time we talked.

Wasn't much anyway.

------ Memory

"....I like you.."

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