Tragedies come and go. Others conquer it, others get succumbed by it.
This is the story of Aivi who had a 180-degree turn after facing the wrath of the world when she turned 16.
What happened to her?
Pendulum... I wonder why listening to the sound of that old-fashioned clock soothes my troubled mind. Never noticed that it became routinary every Friday night before having my online counseling.
"It's 7pm now, Dr. Gonzales will call me anytime soon." I said to myself.
Phone rang, Spyke videocall invitation popped up, I picked up. There it is again, that angelic face and voice saying "Hi, Aivi! How are you? Ready for our session?". Sometimes I wonder why she chose being a medical health professional when it is very clear that she would kill the modelling scene.
Anyway, even though she annoys me sometimes for giving me false positivity, I am truly thankful that she is there to help me get through this.
"So... How's your week, Aivi? Any notable matters I should know?" Dr. Gonzales asked. "Well, mission: talking to my friends and relatives failed again. They still hate me. They still haven't moved on. I'm a disgrace." I, on the verge of tears, replied.
"No, you're not! Yes, you were young and dumb, you were stupid enough for letting that thing happened. But you're far from being a disgrace. You were only 16! And you're not supposed to know everything." Dr. Gonzales' mentioned.
"I focused on my art this week though. I think it is helping me release my frustrations." I followed up. "That's good news! Don't drown yourself in negativity, distract yourself by doing the things you love. You love art right? Then keep on doing it! Reignite that passion!" She happily and excitedly mentioned as it felt like I hit a happy nerve.
Our conversation went on for two hours. She even asked me to show her my art.
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"Do not expect anything good. I'm still a seedling." I worriedly expressed.
"What? Are you for real? I couldn't even draw a stick figure properly! I have no idea you can draw this good!" I can notice that she is in desperation mode to make feel accepted, valued, and happy again. Even though that is the case, she indeed made me feel positive.
"That's progress! I am so proud of you!" She added.
"Thank you! I think that's all I have for this week. I will let you know if something comes up. Thank you for being patient with me, Doc." I said.
"You know you can always count on me, right? You can call me anytime! I mean, that is what best friends are for! And lastly, stop calling me Doc, Aivi! We're college besties! I will die for you." She said stuttering while holding back tears.
"I know, Mika! Sorry for all the troubles I caused you. My baggage isn't yours but you're always there, willingly carrying it with me and for that I'm truly thankful! Thank you for everything you've done for me..." At this moment, I couldn't hold back anymore and bursted into tears already.
Mika did her best to make me calm. She made herself a human sponge capable of taking all of my emotional outbursts.
"Thank you, Mika!" The last words I uttered before ending our conversation.
If I only knew what was going to happen after this videocall two years ago, I should have went to her office instead. I could have hugged her before the accident. I could have told her I love her instead of just saying a simple thank you...
All I have right now is this videocall recording with her trying to bring me comfort in the best way she can.
This recording is the best gift you've given me, Mika. I missed you. I will be strong for both of us. Even if I don't know how I can ever be okay again after losing you too.
