I never knew I was Niall's weakness.

Chapter 10

*Time- Switch*

Niall's POV.

Two days after the campfire on the beach at Marissa's house, she was a lot happier, she smiled again, laughed again. I was really happy to see her like this again and we made a deal that if there was anything bothering her, she'd tell me and I was very happy about that because to be honest, that made me feel good as well because in my eyes, it showed me that she really, really loves me.

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Marissa is still sleeping since it's 8 AM and I woke up about 30 minutes ago. I didn't want to wake her up so here I'm sitting, on the chair in her room with a sort of diary on my lap and a pen in my hand, watching Marissa sleeping peacefully.

I don't really write but sometimes, when things appear in my mind, I just write them down to sometimes do something with it afterwards.

"Life is a game, never the same. I feel so alive, I know that I'm lucky.

Is this the place, where I grew up, the smile of my mom. 

I know that I am lucky. Now I'm willing to share my bliss with you, are you ready to change your life for good? Your past is not your enemy, think again because it's only getting better than before. 

I had it all, you were alone, nowhere to go. I know that I'm lucky. Now you're grown up, no battle is lost, because everything will change from now."

My hand keeps moving the pencil across the page and I can't help but write further and further, somehow, inspiration got to me. Honestly, I can't stop thinking about Marissa, her past, her life, her future, her feelings, her thoughts. I can't help it, to be honest, I got angry when she told me she cuts herself because 1, She didn't told me earlier, but also because I was too fucking blind to see and that is probably the thing that hurts me the most, why didn't I see it? What was wrong with me?

"When you try your best but you don't succeed, when you get what you want but not what you need, when you feel so tired but you can't sleep stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face, when you lose something you can't replace, when you love someone but it goes to waste, could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home, and I will try to fix you." 

I should've noticed before.. what if I would be too late and she would've ended her life? I still blame myself, yet I know she don't want me to and I somehow know that that's the exact reason why she didn't told me before. She knew I'd blame myself.

"You and I, we're like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky. With you, I'm alive, like all the missing pieces of my heart, they finally collide."

And the look on her face when we first kissed and I told her I didn't liked her. I can defenitely understand that she maybe somehow thought I said that i didn't love her but that's not true, I love her more then anything, I only said I didn't liked her but hell, I do fucking like her! 

"So stop the time right here in the moonlight cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes. 

Without you, I feel broke, like I'm half of a whole. Without you, I've got no hand to hold. Without you, I feel torn. Like a sail in a storm. Without you, I'm just a sad song."

Marissa really changed my life, I remember the first time I saw her, it was christmas, celebrating at Louis' place since he was already in a relationship with Marissa's sister, Alexandra. I remember her laughing and stupid jokes, I remember her dropping her glass wine on the ground. I helped her clean up and since that moment, I've been extremely in love with her. We hung out a lot and I fell in love over and over again. She was clumsy as hell and that was what I loved, and still love about her.

"With you I fall. It's like I'm leaving all my past in silhoettes up on the wall, with you I'm a beautiful mess. It's like we're standing hand in hand with all our fears up on the edge." 

I remember trying to confess my love for her but everytime I wanted to, I messed up, I stumbled over words or I just simply literally fell. I felt pretty stupid but yet, I didn't get the right moment to tell her how I felt about her. 

"you're the perfect melody, the only harmony I want to hear. You are my favorite part of me, with you standing next to me, I've got nothing to fear. Without you, I feel broke." 

A sound wakes me up from my writing and thinking. A soft moan filled the silent room and my eyes immediately search for Marissa who is still laying in bed. 'hm.' She moans again. 'Niall,' I smile weak. 'I'm here princess.' She moves her head to me and she yawns once. 'What are you doing?' I giggles soft at the sound of her morning voice. 'oh, nothing, just writing.' I lay my writersbook next to me on the desk and stand up to walk over the bed and sit next to her. 'How'd you sleep?' I smile weak and strike the blonde hair string behind her ear. 'Alright.' she groans and lays her head on my chest, causing me to strike through her hair.

'I love you.' I whisper while placing a soft kiss on the top of her head. I can feel her nod but soon enough I mention her breath becomming slow and heavily which I notice as her falling asleep again. I smile and close my eyes, causing to fall asleep with Marissa's head on my chest,

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A/N

Hya, I know that I don't have a lot of readers *sigh* ;-; but if you read this, please vote and comment cuz I could use it >..>

I know the things Niall are writing down are two lyrics from 'Fix you' by coldplay and 'Sad Song' by We The Kings but I thought it fits my ideas of the story perfectly so, yeah well..

Oh and the first thing he writes down, about life's a game .. That's a lyrics as well [I believe] from Di-rect [ sorry if I am wrong]  but wait.. lemma explain.

As (almost) everyone around my age is going to school. So am I, I go by bus everyday and one day I met this boy in the bus, he randomly started talking to me and ever since, when he walks into the bus, he sits next to me and we start the most random conversations about stalking (We're always joking about he stalking me cuz he always get into the bus later then me) so yeah, we finally found each other on facebook and I saw this post on his timeline saying 'This fits us perfectly' (about his fiancé) and I thought this was just perfect for my story so yeah.. 

VOTE.