I never knew I was Niall's weakness.

Chapter 18

A/N: this is Marissa's life before she gets so close with Niall, just to give you a sort of look of how her life was before niall and her fell in love.

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'When do I get my happy ending?'

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*Marissa's POV*

'No, mom! You can't leave again!' I cry as my mom tells me that she has to leave for another three months.

'Sweetheart, you'll be fine and I'm so terribly sorry but I've gotta do this! This is how I can earn enough money for you to live!' My mom tries to calm me down with her words but it isn't working.

'You fucking promised me not to leave again! At least for not three fucking months! Mom! When are you going to think about me, about Alex! She may be a grown young woman but she can't live without you! Neither can I mom!' I cry harder and tears are streaming down my face.

'I know darling but you've gotta understand me!' My mom comes closer as she tries to comfort me by hugging me but I can't stand it.

'No! Fuck off! Don't touch me! You've always talked about dad how he left us for that bitch but now you're doing the exact same thing except for dad's bitch, your bitch is your God damn work!' I almost scream at her, I know I shouldn't be treating her this way but she has to be here for me!

'You'll be okay Marissa, really! You're a 17 years old girl, you can do this!' She still tries to comfort me but he'll no it wasn't working.

'WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LEAVE, ITS YOUR FUCKING JOB TO RAISE ME AND NOT ALEX HER JOB! I HATE YOU!' As soon as the words leave my mouth I immediately regret them but I can't stand it anymore. 'Marissa!' She looks at me with her eyes full of tears and even though it's God damn hard, I turn around and run upstairs but before I disappear, I yell back; 'IF YOURE LEAVING NOW, STAY AWAY!'

I know it's not really fair but she can't just leave me here?!

I hear my mom yelling but all I do is cry in my mattress with my pillow on my head. After what feels like forever, I hear the front door closing. My moms gone.

Days passed by, even a week and I only come out of my room to steal some food from the kitchen and to pee but that's all. I don't shower or clean my room, no nothing. My mom really depressed me even more then I already was. My blade has touched my skin like at least every day since my mother left and Alexandra tried to get me out of my room but nothing worked, I was too depressed to get out. It surprises me that I still have tears left because honestly, I've been crying myself to sleep every night, I woke up every day while crying and I was exhausted.

It's Monday now, and I'm still in my bed, not caring about anything.

As I hear a knock on the door my eyes flushed open, 'Marissa?' I hear my sister talking. 'Go away.' I mumble, loud enough for her to hear. 'Listen, remember Niall? The boy you've met a couple of weeks ago?' My heart raced louder and harder as I hear his name.

'I do.' I stand up quietly, walking towards the door. 'He's coming over, he asked me where you've been because he wanted to talk to you.' She said soft. 'He's coming over in a couple of hours..'

A silence fell and I lay my head against the door, crying softly. 'I just wish you'd open up a bit again not to me but maybe to him because honestly, I can't miss you, we've both lost mom already, I can't lose you too.' And those words broke my heart. Did she really thought she'd lose me? That can't be...

'Just, just never mind. I'll tell him you're not home and just, I don't know, never mind.' She sighed and I could hear her walking away.

After something about 40 minutes, I slowly unlocked the door, heading over to the bedroom and took a quick shower.