What Does My Black Mean?

Is it the color of my skin?

1. Is it the color of my skin?
Waking up in the morning and wondering will this new day bring the same problems. I knew people would down me because I didn't have their nice toned skin. I knew they would question why I was so dark or why "my skin wasn't pretty like theirs." In the classroom ,it was the same routine. I would take my seat in the back of the room. I felt being in the back would take the attention off of me. The teacher never called on me. I thought maybe it was because every time I raised my hand the class would stare at me. I questioned for some time ,Why was I different?
Why couldn't my skin be like hers? Or hers? Why didn't people talk to me? Was I ugly? These were the same thoughts that traveled in and out of mind everyday. As the school day came to an end , I proceeded on my walk home. People from around the neighborhood looked down on me. As I walked I could hear the vigorous sounds of yelling. They were yelling at me. As I turned around, I felt as if my life was taken away from me at that moment. I felt that I needed to change. A group of boys had thrown powder on me. So many thoughts ran through my mind. But one stuck out. I no longer liked my black skin. I-I hated it. I arrived home and once my mother saw me she wanted answers immediately. I couldn't give her one all I could do was cry. This was the first time I had cried infront of her. She knew exactly what had happened. She ordered for me to take a bath and get cleaned up. I did as told. As I walked past the broken mirror in the bathroom I seen me. I was broken. I had enough. I walked down the creaking stairs. My mom couldn't afford a grand, expensive house like their parents. My mom called me into the room. I knew we would have this talk sooner than later. "It's time",she said. She looked me in my eyes and said "Your skin is black." I was wondering why she was telling me something I knew. She continued with " Your skin is beautiful, it makes you beautiful" she paused. Taking in a breath she went on saying " You have to love your skin as much as it loves you," "You may not see the privileges it brings you now, but you will see them soon," " Your black may make you different but it also helps you stand out , you just have to stand out with it." I now thought ,Is it because of my skin that I am different but beautiful. Is it because of my skin that I will make a difference. I now knew I was happy about my skin. It made me feel beautiful and that's all I ever wanted. It was all I ever needed to know and feel.

Quote: " Broken only makes me whole"