Self Isolation with Bang Chan at My House

Chapter Twelve

Author's note: ahhh no one's leaving comments or anything. It's so hard for me to tell what you all think. I guess I have a star wars fan base and this isn't star wars, but I'm used to hearing from you guys, so this just feels very quiet >_<  If you've read this far then thanks for reading! 

------------

I pedal down the gravel road covered that's covered a thin layer of snow. Mom's bike isn't made for all-terrain, like my mountain bike is, so it feels like biking through water. I'm already starting to sweat under my layers. But my nose is an icicle.

This was a mistake. I shouldn't have come out there in this cold, and this late at night.

A cloud moves across the moon and suddenly I can't see anything. I get off the bike and walk instead. It's slower, but not as physically demanding and this way I'm less likely to ride into the ditch in the dark.

I shiver, but not from the cold. The darkness stretches out in all directions. I can't see the tree line anymore but I know it's in front of me, somewhere. The smell of campfire smoke encourages me to keep moving forward. Eventually I will get there, then I'll see the fire and it won't be so dark.

I hear the howls and yipping of coyotes nearby.

This was definitely a mistake.

I look behind me. The edge of town looks really far away now, like a Christmas Village set with toy houses. I biked further than I realized. I grip the handlebars of Mom's bike tight. There's a lot of empty space and darkness between here and the tiny line of houses behind me. I can't go all that way back alone.

The yelps and howls of the coyotes finally die down. They're just small dogs, I tell myself. They can't eat me. But even as I try to reassure myself, I realize that I don't really know how big coyotes are. All I know is that one of them ate a neighbours small dog last year.

I have a better chance of surviving if I get to Chris first, and have his protection, than if I go all the way back on my own. I'm short and small, so I probably look like good target for the coyotes' next meal.

I pick up the pace, walking faster now. My heart pounds, making my breathing loud. I take some deep breaths to calm myself. I have to think happy thoughts. I can't let myself slip into a panic attack. I try to imagine something happy; my room and my comfy bed. But the Chris is there, lying on my bed shirtless and in his pyjama bottoms, wearing his black toque.

My grip slips from the bike and I almost drop it. 

No, I can't let myself get infatuated with Chris! Just knowing that Charlotte thinks he's hot, had me in tears for half the night. I'm not good with relationships. They're not good for my anxiety. And starting a relationship during COVID-19 outbreak is just asking for drama.

The cloud finally passes from in front of the moon and the tree line comes into view again. I'm not far now. The smell of campfire and nighttime helps calm my nerves, bringing back memories of when I was little.

As I approach the trees, I hear voices and a radio playing softly.

My breath catches when I hear Chris' laugh. It reawakens the butterflies in my stomach. But it now there's also an added tightness in my chest along with it. I recognize it as fear. What am I afraid of? I suppose secrets are a secret for a reason, so maybe I'm afraid of what I'll discover.

I see a well worn path leading into the trees. It is darker in between the trees, than out in the field where the moon shines, so I take out my phone to get some light. Why didn't I think to do this earlier?