The Last Beacon

XXVIII

Sascha woke up with a start, and the air was cold, and the area was dark.

She shivered and sat up, rubbing her shoulders. Once again, she wished she hadn't cut up her jacket back at Nature's Tears. She yanked her dark hair out of the ponytail, letting it spill down her shoulders, hoping it would provide a small amount of insulation from the chilled air.

"Cold?" Came a familiar voice.

Sascha snapped her head across her cell to look at the shadowed figure that was sitting atop the mattress. She narrowed her eyes, squinting to get a glimpse of the man she had come to know.

"What do you care, Decius?" She snapped.

Decius chuckled, "temper, temper. That's no way to treat a visitor."

Sascha rolled her eyes, still unsure of why he was there. "That's rich coming from you. Are you done giving me the silent treatment?"

"If I wasn't, I wouldn't be here, would I?" He said, a smirk faintly visible on his face in the darkness, "and speaking of, how on earth did you manage to end up in here?"

"Oh, shut up," she said, half-joking.

"Where's Laurenz? What have you done with the old man?" He teased, before letting out a fake gasp, "don't tell me you've lost him!"

"Alright, I get it," Sascha grumbled, "you're just here to irritate me."

He put his hand over his heart, feigning offence. "Me? Never!"

Sascha could hear the smug grin in his voice.

"Then what are you here for?" She asked, fed up with his behaviour.

"Just to pay a visit," he said, "and don't worry, you'll be out of here in the morning."

"Have you been meddling with people again?" She accused.

"Uh, you're welcome?"

Sascha shook her head, trying to hide the small smile forming on her face. "If you managed to achieve that, why not just get me out of here now?"

"Well, I thought you should learn your lesson. A night in this rat hole should suffice," Decius justified.

"Learn my lesson? What about you, Mr Menace to Society? Have you had your time in the naughty corner?" Sascha joked.

"I have suffered enough retribution from this world, but I suspect that I've not faced the last of it. I've done so many regretful things, to the extent where I really don't know if I'll ever be able to stop. The people of this world will never stop looking for ways to punish me for what I've done," Decius explained, almost sadly.

Could he be feeling guilty for his actions? Hard to imagine that he would be one to lament on the topic of his sins, Sascha pondered to herself, maybe beneath his tough exterior, he's no different from the rest of us. He's only human, and perhaps he's really not the villain I thought he was. Maybe he just wishes he could be accepted again. I wonder what he's been through to make him the person he is now.

"Thinking about me?" Decius said, without looking up from the floor. He was sitting against the wall with his knees up, letting his arms rest atop his knees.

"I'm sure you heard it, I'm not repeating it."

He suddenly looked up at her, and his eyes were lit with glowing blues, and she could see weak hope within his irises. "Do you really believe I'm not the bad guy?" He asked. His voice had cracked subtly, but Sascha had still picked it up.

"I don't know," she murmured softly, "I barely know enough about you or your actions and beliefs to even come close to making a judgement. But seeing you like this, I don't know, it gives me the impression that you're not someone that can commit terrible acts without remorse. I can feel your guilt and regret from here, you know that? I don't know what you've done, but I can tell that you cling to the hope that one day you can finally repent for your actions and be forgiven."

"You're clever for a kid," Decius said, "you remind me of someone from my past. Someone I miss dearly. She was curious about everything, and far too intelligent for her own good, and God only knows that she drove me crazy."

Sascha ignored the fact that he called her a kid. "She died?"

"No," he corrected quickly, "she's still alive. I had to give her up and separate myself from her because I was a danger to her. I have to live with the fact that she had to grow up without me, and she doesn't even remember me or who I once was."

"Who was she?"

"My sister," he admitted, "she was only nine when I gave her away. I removed her memories of me and sent her to live with a family far away from me. I had to, I couldn't risk her safety."

He had a family, Sascha said to herself, almost pitying him, but so did I.

"Why are you telling me all this?" She asked.

"I just wanted to show you that no matter what I've done, I'm still a person, same as you. I know about the lad in the forest, you know. Your hands are no longer clean either, are they?"

"Shut it," Sascha snapped, rapidly becoming defensive.

"You knew him, didn't you? You'd spent time with him and then you killed him. Let me guess, you lost control?" Decius continued, obviously knowing that his words were winding her up.

"Shut it," she repeated, firmer this time.

"Do you feel bad about it or are you feeling like it was justified? Is the weight of guilt bringing you down? Do you regret it, or are you" he paused "satisfied?"

"What, you're going to have a go at me now? You're acting like you are some sort of saint that's never done anything wrong. Well guess what? Yes, I killed him, and I admit that, because unlike you, I was doing it to defend both myself and my friends. You say we're the same, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I don't think I'm anything like you."

Decius scowled at her, ready to launch into an argument.

"So much for the sentimental conversation," Sascha continued coldly, "that's clearly over. I don't even know how much of it was true, because for all I know, you could just be lying to get me to trust you. You wonder why people think ill of you? You're far too insensitive, do you not understand that some things should just be left alone? You better not start acting like I'm overreacting, because I am sick of feeling like my emotions aren't valid. You know it's your fault that I'm worked up now, and goddamn it, now you have to deal with the consequences."

"You're so touchy, I was just winding you up," Decius hissed, "but clearly you don't want me here, so I'll leave."

"Good," Sascha said, her tone icy.

"Perhaps I'll go pay your pal Laurenz a visit," he mused.

Sascha didn't respond, she only raised an eyebrow at him, indicating both her disbelief and disinterest.

In a split second, Decius was directly in front of her, grabbing her shoulders. "Be careful," he said hurriedly, "don't trust anyone here."

Then, in a flash of intense blue light, he was gone. Sascha felt as though she could still feel his grip on her shoulders.

She was stunned into silence.

I really don't understand him. One minute, we're having a heart-to-heart, then the next we're ripping holes into one another, and then he's in my face telling me to be careful? It's like he can't make up his mind on who he wants to be around me.

She shook her head, continuing her train of thought.

I'm honestly really surprised that he told me about his sister. Why would he trust me with that information? In the time that I've known him, our attitudes towards each other have been constantly up and down, and I barely know where we stand. I seriously don't know what to think. Maybe he's trying to regain his humanity, but he doesn't know how. Most of the time he's just infuriating and insensitive to other people's lives and emotions.

I suppose only time will tell what sort of person he will be.