Hello Me

Chapter 7

They say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Or, apparently, if you're Ellie Spencer, you flirt with a boy who pretends to like you back, anger the meanest girl in school, accuse a bus driver of sexual harassment and spend all your change on one journey so you don't have enough to get home. Lemons, she could handle.

Ellie wandered distractedly through the streets of Grantsford, idly window shopping and still berating herself for the day's humiliations. Every time she felt things were getting a little better, something happened to bring her crashing down to earth.

Despite the still-cold weather Grantsford's shops tantalisingly displayed pretty clothes in spring colours in every window, hopeful of an unlikely speedy change of season. Skirts in pale aquas, thin knit sweaters in cornflower blues and lilacs, and patent pumps in bright pinks and oranges caught her eye at every turn. For a second, with bus journey forgotten, Ellie pictured herself on Lewis's arm wearing a particularly pretty soft pink jersey dress with heeled, tan leather boots, the mannequin's beaded necklace completing the look.

"Well, I guess I've got time to kill," she shrugged, and dove into the warmth of the shop to hunt down the pieces and recreate the mannequin's look in the changing room. Slipping out of her school uniform, Ellie slid the soft fabric of the dress over her head and wound the beads around her neck a couple of times, letting the bright glass drops hang down her chest. She admired herself in the mirror: the dress's colour made her skin look a little warmer, and made her brown eyes just a little browner, while the soft jersey fabric clung to her stomach and hips in just the right ways, closely fitting to her form but not too tight. The outfit looked perfect, but she doubted herself: a second opinion was always necessary for shopping trips. Ellie sighed as she thought of the many Saturdays spent in the local mall in her home town with her best friends. For what felt like the hundredth time, she wished passionately for a close friend again.

Ellie quickly undressed and re-dressed in her school uniform, seeing the older, more mature version of her disappear the instant she shrugged the dress off, to be replaced with loser Ellie from Stokebridge High School. Ellie fingered the necklace she still wore, letting the beads slide between her hands. Without a second thought she whipped the necklace over her head and let it fall into her school bag. Zipping the bag resolutely shut, Ellie pulled on her coat, and quickly made her way out of the changing room. Leaving the beautiful pink dress on a rail, she lifted her head high and marched towards the door. The shop assistants, barely adults themselves, didn't look up from their gossiping at the cash register.

The cold Tuesday evening air hit her full force as she spilled onto the main street. The cool, calm and collected Ellie crumpled into a sweaty, heart-pumping, chest-thudding mess. Had she just stolen something? Her, Ellie Spencer? The girl who never so much as looked the wrong way at someone was now a thief?

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she glared at herself in a shop window, slowing her breathing with some effort. A homeless man slumped on the ground next to her raised his eyebrow, pleased to realise that he wasn't the only one who talked to himself. Ellie cleared her throat and hustled herself onward before she did anything even more stupid, like give all her worldly possessions away or get abducted by aliens. Clearly, anything could happen on a day like today.

Spying a church just off the main street, Ellie wandered over and slid inside the heavy oak doors, sinking down onto a pew at the back. The irony that Ellie, now a thief, was seeking refuge in a church wasn't lost on her, and she smiled humourlessly. What a crappy day.

The dark, quiet air and flickering candlelight of the old, empty Catholic church was soothing. The whole family had gone to church regularly in Illinois, as had most of the community, but it was a noisy, friendly, bright affair in their newly built mega church, more about socialising with friends than religion for her. Her church was a world away from the aged bricks and soft light shining through the arched stained glass windows onto the stone floor and heavy wooden pews. It felt like a safe, silent place.