It's Complicated (August Alsina Story)

Chapter Eight: Bad Reminiscing

Chapter 8:

Bad Reminiscing

April 27th, 2014

Kimberly:
Here I am in my own relationship, and I'm stuck on someone else's. My boyfriend Jaylen is a straight hood nigga, seems like I can never get away from those. He's broken up with me a few times because my main focus wasn't on him, and it still isn't really. Don't get me wrong I love him, but I just want August. If I can't have August, then that bitch Bria can't either. I'll do whatever it takes, I'll even kill that nigga or bitch. I get so emotional when I think about him, I don't know what it is about him. I've been tryna get August back for about 3 years now, and I know he doesn't want me, trust me he's shown me he doesn't, but I still keep trying. Maybe I am crazy? Fuck that, he made me this way! When I met August he was actually in the dope game. He sold everything: weed, coke, crack, meth, and all types of pills. I was with a friend tryna cop some bud, and he was the one who sold it to us. He was very hesitant at first, he said we didn't look like the type, but looks can be deceiving because he looked like some pretty boy thug to me. Anyway I started buying from him regularly, and some days he'd tell me to come by for a smoke session. One night we were just chilling, smoking, and he came onto me. We fucked on his couch and it was awkward afterwards so I left. Since that happened every time I went to go get bud we'd somehow end up fucking. We knew little about each other and I honestly think that I just fell in love with the d, but I pushed it onto him that we should be in a relationship, and he simply said okay. Now that I look back at it, he just said okay to shut me up. I was in a relationship by myself that whole time and I was just his fuck buddy. That motherfucker. Every time I would try to get to know August, he'd avoid the questions. I never met his family, only his friends, well whoever would be at his traphouse. Different bitches would be in and out all the time, he just claimed they were for his homeboys. One night we were arguing, and that nigga decides he wants to hit me. I didn't know what to do, so I fucked up his place. He beat my ass even more, and then made me clean it up. His anger was always on 100, I mean he would spazz out for no reason. Through all that bullshit he never once broke up with me, probably because I was never his. I would go days without calling or texting him, and I'd get no response out of him. But when I would finally see him, he'd fuck me up and then fuck me. August really fucked me up mentally, maybe that's why I'm so crazy about him. I didn't talk to August for about a year when he told me to leave him alone, and I found out he was trying to do the singing shit. I went to his shows, paid for meet and greets because I lost all contact with him and even found out what hotels he would be staying at when he went out of town. I even tricked some dumb ass hotel manager that I was his girlfriend and I lost the hotel key. Of course when I went in his room he no one was there, but his phone was. I got his number and I've been blowing him up ever since, he fucking hates me though. Now that's he's with that legal hoe, ima fuck her up when I see her. I got connects, I'll find out where she be at, and that bitch is gonna have hell to pay for putting her hands on me! I know when August told me to leave him alone that he messed with other bitches, but it was something about Bria that I hated. Maybe because he actually pursued a relationship with her. She had the nerve to take him away from me, I mean how the fuck did they even meet? He went to go pick up his nieces from school and she had the same class as them, she's so damn young! They flaunting their relationship on Instagram and shit, like no one cares you're fucking someone that people can mistake for your little sister.

"Kimberly!", Jaylen said making me jump from my thoughts. "What the fuck you thinking about? Staring off into space and shit." "Nothing bae it's nothing.", I said back with a fake smile. He could just tell when I was lying or thinking about August, he hated that shit. "I swear if you thinking about that nigga, ima kill you and him.", he said drinking down the rest of his Bombay gin. I think I have bad luck with guys, because I pick the same damn ones every time. They were either a drug dealer, they beat on me, disrespectful to me, or their just using me. Like what the fuck. Jaylen was drunk right now so it's just best if I stay on his good side. "I'm not Jaylen ok, you need anything?", I said reassuringly as I rubbed one of his shoulders. "Nah just go in the room, you fucking up my vibe." Getting up I brushed passed his legs and headed towards our bedroom. Our apartment was so damn small, and he trust to bring his friends over all the time. I grabbed my laptop on the way to the room so I could hopefully FaceTime one of my few girlfriends, Maya. Jaylen is a very jealous asshole, so he's pushed people away that love and care for me. Some being friends and even family, like my mother. He told me it's either him or her, and I don't know why but I chose him. She won't even reply to my calls or texts, it's like I don't exist to her. I've lost myself in this fucked up place you call the world, and it'll been soon before I become non existent. I think if I get away from Jaylen, maybe I'd have another chance at life, but it's like he's quarantined me. Since he hates August so much maybe I'll tell him he's been texting me lately and that'll set him off. August will be a dead man for sure..and Jaylen too. See Jaylen doesn't know about Augusts' past, but he'll find out if he ever try coming for him. Powering up my laptop I FaceTimed Maya, thank god she answered. "Hey girl hey!", she said so loud. "Damn girl I might have to put you on mute!" "Oh whatever Kim. Watcha been up too lately? Haven't heard from you in a while.", she said before raising an eyebrow at me. "You know nothing really. I actually snuck out of the house a while ago to try and visit August, but it didn't work out well." "You did what! Oh my girl you're crazy!", she said covering her mouth. I didn't take it well that she said that, when she knows how I feel about him, but I just laughed it off. "So tell me why didn't it work out? Was his underage girlfriend there?", she said rolling her eyes. "Yes and that hoe got it coming for her, and him!" "Oh shit now come on and give me details Kim, you can't leave me hanging!" "Yeah yeah hold on.", I said before turning the t.v. on so Jaylen wouldn't hear anything.

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