How to break a heart

Lies

Texting:

Angelica:

Alex can we forget about what happened on the roof.

I just can't do that to my sister, no matter how I feel about it.

(No longer texting)

I'm not in love with Alexander Hamilton. I've been trying to convince myself that. But I've never been a great liar. No matter how I've started to feel, it can never happen. Eliza is already heartbroken and I could never do that to her. So that's what I'm telling myself. Besides, Alexander has "loved" so many girls before, I bet I'm just a piece of fun to him. A project because he's bored.

I don't love him. I barely know him. Right?

Sitting at dinner, these thoughts are all going round and round in my head.

"Angelica! Eat your meal! I'm getting sick of the way you're acting!" Dad's voice pierces through my thoughts.

"Sorry dad...."

I don't even have the willpower to argue. Make it through dinner. Thirty minutes! Not that hard.

Surprisingly, dad doesn't make any more finicky comments. The moment it ends, I screech my chair away from the table.

"Angelica! Young ladies ask to leave the table."

"Sorry dad." I reply through gritted teeth.

I trudge up the stupidly big stairs and into my room, shutting the door with a bang.

I collapse onto my bed. Why do I feel like this? Why him? I bury my head into my pillow and suddenly there are tears running down my cheeks. Why am I crying? He's just a boy.

The door creaks open and Eliza steps into my room quietly. I know it's her without looking up. Peggy throws doors open and when she walks in, everyone knows she's there.

"Hi Angelica."

I don't reply.

"I know you love Alexander..."

I leap off the bed.

"Eliza, I-I don't love him! I could never do that to you.... I'm so sorry."

"Angelica, you love him. I know it because I know you. You're silent every time I mention him. Usually you make a list about everything you hate about him. You love him."

"I don't love him..."

Her big brown eyes go glassy. Eliza's crying. She comes and pulls me to sit down next to her.

"You love him. Who doesn't..."

"I don't love him. I don't!"

Eliza holds my face in her hands.

"Angelica. Don't try to deny it. You've always been a bad liar..."

"Hey!" I sob weakly.

"He loves you. I've seen the way he looks at you. He wants you. So I won't stop you. Because you're the most important person in my life. I love him, but I love you more..."

And then I wake up, lying in my bed. It was a dream. I love Alexander Hamilton. I can't deny it.