This Is How It Ends

The Turning Point

Only at first did we think it was okay to go outside; but it wasn’t. It was cold, far too cold despite the sun hanging over our shoulders. It was deceiving. The deceiving sun.

-Melissa Dempsey

He was a good person. It was refreshing to find someone like him every know and again. He loved his wife and would do anything for her. I made the mistake one day of predicting their future, and he knew what I could do. I swore I couldn’t, that my gift was useless. When she disappeared, he was obsessed with finding her when the police had failed. At first he begged me, when I refused, he could be found sitting outside my house in the middle of the night.

I gazed into his eyes. I searched for anything that told me he could actually save me. But I couldn’t find it. They had a protective stare that told the onlooker to go fuck with someone else’s mind. Damnit. I would just have to put what I have out there. I would just have to jump right in. 

“I come from up-state, I advocate for better treatment of the mentally ill. And I’ll tell you now I am against the new law regarding electro-shock treatment. Unfortunately, I do not have as much control over your treatments. The doctor you had before me is chief of that. If you want me to help you, you must be honest.”  He said. He was sitting so calm in front of me. He looked so young and hopeful, so confident. It almost made me sick. I resisted from yelling you’re too young to be a doctor you little college shit! That thought almost made me smile. “So may I ask you this? Why? Why did you, Vinessa, do what you did” He said. I directed my attention back to him. The lighting in this room was different from the other room, it made me look like I had bags under my eyes. No matter, I probably did. He used a voice recorder instead of an old fashion camera that made me look like death, I liked him already. “You wouldn’t believe me even if you tried.. and Its Alice...” I said casually. He half nodded his head, not the response he expected. “I could try, I can’t promise I’ll understand but I want to help you...Er.. Alice” He sounded genuine. But I wanted him to be. Sure you do. You want to work with Hannibal Lector, not me, not someone from this asylum. Looking at my options, it was time for a plot-twist: Tell the truth, not all of it, just a truth.“If we are going to be honest. I really don’t know anymore. Sometimes it was me, other times it was like I was watching from a distance. This Vinessa character sounds real, but I don’t feel like her. I remember being her. Like possession. I feel some of the same things she does. If you really get deep into it, we share memories.” I said. I sat my hands on the table, the cuffs digging into them made noise as they touched the table. His face looked overwhelmed. He wrote things down furiously in his notebook. When he was done, he pulled a chair out at the other end of the table and sat down. “They told me to interview all the patients and choose which cases to take on-” He paused to rub his head. He’s too new to deal with someone like me. My eyes widened. If he didn’t take me, it would be the end for me and Vinessa. “What you just told me is more than you have told the doctors in quite a while. They have scrambled to make inferences and debate how to treat your ‘condition’. If I tell them what you told me... its not going to end well for you. I am going to take your case. I have never really seen a patient like you.” He said. “They can’t teach you people about people like me, they can’t prepare you for me” I said. This kid deserved a psychotic rambling that made sense, maybe I was a bit of Hannibal after all. Breathe came out of me. I wanted to scream ‘thank you’ as loud as I could. I was washed in happiness. But then I thought, it might be good for me but hell for the others because they don’t know yet. The waiting game of their fate. “You can leave now” He said as he got down his last few notes. I jumped out of my seat and moved towards the door. But then I stopped. I was a hard case that many would rather just electrocute me and be done. “Why did you take my case? Why be so compassionate with someone like... me?” I said as innocent as I could sound. “That, is for you to learn” He said before waving me out. I shrugged, thats all the answer I needed. As I was walking out I bumped into Josh, a new patient. He was a frugal old man, who seemed upset by nearly everything. He wore an old brown suit, and if anything, this man needed some Jesus. His face looked especially pissed off today, so I decided to take a swing. “Why are you mad?” I asked. Whoa. I almost gave a fuck. Big steps for me I joked with myself.“They told me I have split-personality disorder. Then they charged me $160 bucks! Can you believe that?! I gave them $80 and told them to get the rest from the other asshole!” He spat. I could see he had little interest in me so he went on his way, storming off in the other direction. I smiled. Oh god... I resisted laughter. Things might get better. I thought directing my thoughts back to the doctor. But if he was lying, if I had come out in belief that he took me in, my world would be colder than before. I could only hope he wasn’t a ‘deceiving sun’.