This Is How It Ends

For a lie, or a false hope?

 CHAPTER 3

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change

-Wayne Dyer

At first, they were little things: The weather or minuscule news events. I knew they would happen, but it seemed like nothing, they never really affected my life. Until that night. I woke up, scared out of my mind. When I looked at Tom, it was like looking at a different person. I tried to tell him but he insisted I would forget it by morning, or that I was crazy. But I never forgot what I saw. It only got worst. My heart beat with a different tune. Nights became so hard. I got to the point were I did horrible things and I saw haunting things no body else could see. Like the straw that broke the Camel’s back, it all happened, all at once. My life was changed forever. 

When night approached, Colin came. I wasn’t physically hurt. More or less emotionally. “You could have helped me! My parents were ready to kill themselves! I had a life, a future!” He said, steading himself with his crutches, wearing a trench coat. Colin had a english accent, honey blonde hair with bangs and sharp cheekbones. His eyes were soft, they contrasted with his dark tan. I feel bad to this day about what happened to him, he’s physically disabled with rich parents that loved him so much. “You watched every night in your dreams what was happening to me, my parents had a $300,000 reward for my safe return, but you never did a thing. Do you know how bad I was torchered. They ripped my finger nails off, sawed half way into my fingers, removed my wisdom teeth, beat me, starved me... And you didn’t go to the police, didn’t talk to my parents. My parents nearly killed themselves, they were so upset. I was only 15!” Said Colin, he wobbled a bit on the crutches as a single tear came down his face. His blonde shifted, and it fell in his eyes. “Do you know what I looked like? What it felt like?!” He yelled. I backed my self into the corner as tears beat down my face. The skin on his fingers began ripping, and bleeding until a small bit of bone was visible. Where his fingernails were turned to a bit of bloody skin and flesh. Bruises and cuts appeared on his body then his coat became dirty and with bouts of dried blood. His face darkened with circles under his eyes, he looked as if he lost quite a bit of weight. Something inside me dropped. Was Colin a ghost or a memory. Either way, he was tearing me apart. At this moment, if Edith came running through that door, axe wielding, I would let her have at me. His cheekbones defined as I realized how much weight he lost. I took a deep and labored breathe.“This was me! A week after I was kidnapped! The kidnappers took the reward and still killed me! When they found my body...” He pursed his lips. A pain raised in his eyes. “Your body was mangled, they said on the news....” I said. I cupped my head in my hands, What if this was Ivy? My voice was so light and scared, a thick lump formed in my throat. “Is that what they told the public?.... I was poisoned, beat and... they couldn’t decipher my cause of death... they found me with paint poured in my mouth, nose, and eyes... when I was still alive is when they did that!” He was so mortified that the news barely covered his case, that they said meager words about how he died. It made him feel so lost, lost among the hundreds of dead everyday. But I had a ‘gift’ so I could see him. A gift I wish I never had. I could feel the pain he did, he was taken from his life and put through all of this only to die a horrific death. “I’m sorry” I said. It was the only thing I could think to say. “Save it. I will never let you forget!” He said harshly. I swallowed hard. My heart boomed through my chest, my head began spinning. It was like my heart beat was beating in my head. And it only got slower and slower until I fainted. The last thing I saw was Colin standing in front of me, his face looked at me so pathetically, then he disappeared and I was out.

My eyes burst open, I heard a scream. It was my scream. My throat vibrated and I heard myself scream, thats what woke me up. Breathe forced into my lungs, like someone hit me hard on the back, but I inhaled. My heart pumped hard as I sat up in the darkness. The door pushed open, and a nurse hobbled in. She carefully walked with a syringe no doubt filled with something to put me out. I was curled up in the corner, my head lagged off on my shoulder. I righted myself onto my knees and looked up to see her almost a foot away from me. I quickly rocked back onto my butt and palms. As fast as I could I inched myself across the floor away from her. My face looked like I had never seen another person before, but I was too shocked to do anything too antsy. “Enough of these antics Vinessa, come here” She said, she looked overly worked. Her face was thicker, and she was very pale. Light brown hair tucked in a loose pony tail, and tiny brown eyes peering at me. The nurse was older, maybe 42? She must have been absolutely gorgeous in her time now that I think about it. She fought me for a few minutes before she decided it was too late at night for this. “Fine, you can spend the rest of the night awake and alone... with yourself.” She said cruelly. That cut me deep. She glanced over her shoulder then preceded to leave. I couldn’t spend another night awake. “No, give me the shot” I said. I held out my arm with dignity. She turned around and looked at me. Her face was near emotionless, trying to hide her surprise. Maybe she could regain some hope for the patients that give her the most trouble if I started the false hope. Maybe she would tell the doctors something good about me. She knelt down, taking one more look at me, then damn near stabbing the needle into my arm. Slowly, the yellow-clear liquid disappeared into my arm, then the nurse disappeared into the night.