Unsaid Thoughts

Mishti unravels Kuhu (in her thoughts)

Note: Hello dear people.  I am really attached to Mishti and Kuhu as sisters and as characters. I always wanted to write something for them but never really got the guts to do it.  I have a habit of pondering over everything that I do and calling myself out on it so I thought why not give that trait to our beloved characters? 

So this starts after Abir, Kuhu and Kunal leave Mishti at the resort and Mishti is left alone with her thoughts. So everything you are reading is her thoughts.

Mishti.

Where am I going wrong? What am I missing? Am I not listening to him properly? Everything is a blur. All I can remember is our screaming match at each other where we both said things that were uncalled for. Abir and I have become like cats and dogs after marriage and the main topic of our arguments has been Kuhu. Why am I so bothered by everything she does these days? 

Sigh. I think I might be stuck on Kuhu. He's right. But I do have my reason for being stuck on her right? Yes of course! She almost stole my wedding day from me, she had slapped me and blamed me for her divorce, she spiked Abir's drink she.

wait. Mind, please pause for a second. My head is hurting.

Why do I sound like a broken record?

Kuhu's not my enemy, she's my sister. Well, at least she is for namesake.  I think something is messing with my head. Maybe Abir is right.. maybe I am getting so blind with Kuhu that I am not able to think clearly.

Let's just pause and think about just Kuhu and not her actions.

Kuhu is not my biological sister but she is my sister at heart. I have always wanted her best, always wished that she gets her happiness. But why was she never happy?

Why does she always look like she's unsatisfied with everything? Well, the answer is always on her lips. Me. All her problems start and end with me. But why?

What did I do that she hates me so much?

She has always felt like I have stolen everything from her. Family, Kunal, now her in-laws. I don't know why this world has always pitted us against each other in some way or the other. Or were we just that fragile that we were able to be pit against each other? 

I have always tried to make her understand that I am not her enemy, that I am not here to steal anything from her. But I am not the one she needs to hear this from. She needs to hear it from the world that made her feel this way, the people that made her feel this insecure. Maybe Badepapa and Badima did show more affection towards me because of my estranged relationship with my parents. I have never really thought about that until now. Maybe I never understood Kuhu in the first place. I have always regarded her as being selfish but I guess she just wants love. She just wants reassurance that she won't be left alone.

Wait. Isn't that want I am looking for as well? I guess we aren't all that different after all. She's afraid of losing the people around and so am I. In her perspective, I am the reason for people leaving her. I am also afraid that everyone will walk right out of my life.