Unsaid Thoughts

Consoling

Note: Hi guys, I hope you all are doing well, staying safe with a smile on your faces always. I personally found this write-up to be a little too wordy. Let me know what you think. Thank you for reading and commenting, it means a lot to me. God bless y'all, take care.

Mishti

I sat on a chair in the park area of the resort. It was getting suffocating in the room and I needed some fresh air.

I went back to my messages and kept rereading Kuhu's message. At least she was taking some initiative to show she cares. Maybe she's feeling guilty about everything. Who knows what goes on in her head anyway. Hopefully, after I talk to her we can both get some closure about all that's been happening between for the past few weeks.

I couldn't help but ponder over her last text. "Abir bro is coming back to get you".

Oh well, that's nice to know. When he should've never left me here in the first place.

Well, I did avoid him this morning when he tried to talk to me again, and I did walk away from him last night. Well, whatever! He's my husband, he should have some patience right?

I was still occupied with all these thoughts when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I turned around to see the said person behind my occupied thoughts. Mr. Ajeeb Rajvansh.

I decided I will be stubborn. "Oh hello, I see you remembered you're married? That you made a commitment to someone to be with them through sickness and in health, through happiness and sadness, etc etc etc? Hmm?"

Abir had his head down and I could feel his guilt coming up to his throat preventing him from uttering a word.

"Abir, I am your Angry Chorni. You got into this mess yourself, you're the one who fell in love with someone that fights for what she believes in. I'm sorry that you expected me to be something else after we got married but this is who I am and this is who I will be for the rest of my life".

He finally looked at me and I could see that his eyes were wet.

"And I never want you to change, I've already told you this. I want you to be as fiery and stubborn as you were before. I am just exhausted Mishti, I am so tired and I am so sorry. I constantly feel like Ma will turn any situation into a plan to break us up again. I feel like I am going to lose you and that's what makes me want to just keep you from fighting with Kuhu. I just want to stop everything just be with you but it's not happening when we are both thinking about what Ma will do, what Kuhu will do", he stated while sinking down to the ground in front of me. He took my hand into his and took it up to his face, he kissed it and looked at me tear-eyed. "I'm sorry for leaving you here Mishti. I am truly and utterly sorry for ever making you feel like I abandoned you. I love you more than I can even put into words sometimes and I just got so frustrated with fighting with you. I can't fight with you anymore Mishti. I just can't".

"Abir, I'm sorry. I am so sorry that Ma has deceived you and gotten into your head so badly that you have forgotten what you once told me. That two people cannot stop being together because of a third party, that no one can come between two people that love each other. I'm truly sorry that you feel insecure about our relationship, I promise I will try my best to understand you better". I cupped his face in my hands and laid a kiss on his forehead. I pulled up from being on his knees and gave him a hug. He tightened the hug and somewhere I felt like he was going to crush me.

"Can you take me home now? My head hurts and I want to sleep", I said looking at him with puppy eyes.

"Your wish is my command", he held my hand and took me outside to the cab that was waiting for us.

Kuhu

We were finally here. Outside Rajvansh Sadan. Kunal wasn't making a move to get out of the car and neither was I. I sat there just reliving all the moments from yesterday. Our moments together; both good and bad. Everything becomes a competition once we go inside, nothing just remains mine. I was still looking out the window and thinking when I felt Kunal's hand touch mine.

I looked over at him. I could literally see the anxiety in his face, I reached over and touched his face softly with my free hand. "What's wrong Kunal?" I ask curiously unknown to what could have caused his face to turn this gloomy.

"Am I not a good husband Kuhu?", he asks me and I could hear from his tone that he was feeling guilty.

"Why would you say that Kunal?", I ask him almost stunned at his question.

"I was talking to Bhai about Mishti and I was trying to make him understand that Mishti just wants his best and that he needs to talk to her instead of walking away. But then I just thought to myself how hypocritical I sounded. I was never understanding of you or your feelings. Somewhere I feel like I dismissed them. I am sorry Kuhu, I am sorry that you felt like I didn't speak to you regarding Parul Ma and instead I spoke to Mishti. I just felt that she would be the one to better understand this situation. I might be a successful businessman with a PhD from Harvard but I was always low on emotional intelligence. Always have been and most likely always will be unless you teach me Kuhu", he spoke so genuinely that I was taken aback by his words. Is this my Kunal? The Kunal that reacts first and thinks later?

I caressed his face and kissed his cheek, I just wanted to make him feel better somehow.

"You're not alone in this Kunal, even I am trying to make us work. I am just happy you've realized that my feelings are valid too. That I have reasons to be upset. Do you know how upsetting it is when the person that is supposed to be your strength starts to question you and your feelings? That's always how I feel Kunal when you suddenly yell at me for anything that I say or do. You can talk to me calmly, I'll understand", even though my words were a little harsh I made sure to speak to him softly without any malice. Exactly like a teacher to his student, as even I feel that it is necessary for him to improve on his emotional intelligence.

"But you have to understand that words like a freeloader, you can't just throw that around like that Kuhu. Especially not towards Bhai and his wife. I know Mishti and I have our differences and somewhere I am still getting used to her but everything connected to her is now Bhai's so all the insults directed towards her go to him as well. That's why I was so mad last night and I just said everything that came to my head, I'm sorry. you're right, next time I will try to talk to you as calmly as possible ".

I was glad he was being so open about it but it did pierce my heart that my words had made him feel this bad. "I am sorry too, that those words affected you too. I noticed how you paid for the hotel room and I just felt like you do all the work and everyone just takes advantage of you and I couldn't bear that. Especially not from Mishti. I need to figure out my equation with her before I start to hurt you further, and I promise I will work it out with her okay?", I told him giving a smile and I noticed the growing smile on his face as well.