22: california

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I barge into Oscar's room unannounced, brandishing two coffees, and jump onto his bed

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I barge into Oscar's room unannounced, brandishing two coffees, and jump onto his bed. He's still under the covers and he groans when I sit on his leg.

"Wake up, sleepy head," I say. "I got you hot black coffee. No sugar, no milk. Just how you like it."

Oscar doesn't emerge from his blankets, so I put the coffees on his bedside table and yank the comforter down off his head. His blonde hair is sticking up in a million different directions, and he glares at me.

"What's up with you today?" I say. "It's midday. Time to get up."

"Not yet," Oscar says.

It's the weekend before Christmas. School closed yesterday, and tomorrow Oscar and I are flying to California for Christmas, to see our dad.

I'm excited. Actually, I'm in a pretty good place right now. Liam and I are friends again, and we've been hanging out a lot these past few weeks. Just normal stuff, like doing homework together and watching movies. And Gracie and Oscar have been hanging out too. Last night, the four of us got together to watch a movie, and it was just like old times. And that makes me so happy. I don't think I've had a panic attack in... three weeks now? I think that's a new record. And so much of it is because I have someone to sit with at school now. I didn't realise how much of my anxiety stemmed from social anxiety - being worried constantly about what people are thinking about me. Now that I have my support of Gracie and Liam at school, I'm feeling less anxious about everything.

I just wish Oscar was feeling the same. Well, he was fine last night, but today he's turned back into Oscar the Grouch.

"Drink the coffee," I tell him. "Liam said we should go on one last graveyard hunt before we leave for California."

"We're not going to California," Oscar says.

"Huh?"

"Dad called last night, after you and Liam went to sleep," Oscar says.

I stare at him. Oscar eventually pulls himself into a sitting position and picks up his coffee from the bedside table.

"What do you mean?"

Oscar sips his coffee and then eventually puts it down. "I mean, Dad called last night. We're not going to California."

"What happened?"

Oscar shrugs. "Dad's on a plane to Brussels right this second. Something, EU conference, something, politics, something, emergency. He said he'll be in Europe until after Christmas, at least."

"But we were supposed to spend Christmas with him!" I exclaim.

"I know, Alina," Oscar says, lying back down against his bedhead.

"This is so typical Dad!" I say, standing up and storming out of Oscar's room.

"Close my door!" he yells after me, but I ignore him.

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