The Dirty Heart Experience

Objects in the Mirror

"One more week everyone. I know it's been busy and it's only gonna get busier this week, but we can do this." The tired eyes of my staff are all on me for this impromptu Wednesday morning staff meeting. Everyone is exhausted, every set of eyes on me right now wants to be somewhere else, hell even I'd be happy with a vacation right about now. "This place doesn't exist without each and everyone of you and you are all doing amazing. I couldn't be prouder of all the effort we're all putting it. Thanksgiving is a week from tomorrow, so just one more week, then we can take a small breath." David quietly lifted his large cup of coffee as if to toast my sentiment. "Ok everyone, we got this. Let's get this done." Four faces smiled back at me as we broke and all headed to our respective roles for the day. Tiffany had been trained up and moved to full time at the counter for the season while the rest of us focused on pushing out special orders for the upcoming holiday.

"Ok I'm gonna say it," David announces while working through a mountain of apples that still need to be prepped, "I hate pies." Rolling my eyes, but we all laugh as Erin throws out a quick comeback.

"That's not what your wife told me." Another round of laughter ensues while Davis shoots her a playful glare. As busy as the shop is we're all in good spirits and I realize for the millionth times this week how lucky I am to have this amazing crew. "Alright Sydney," Erin begins casually, "did you ever get together with that guy Cassie told me about? The one who came in with that crazy order?" Shaking my head as I look up from the pie dough I'm rolling, finding three questioning sets of eyes on me.

"Actually we were supposed to meet up for drinks one night," remembering the strange events of that evening as I add a large sprinkle of flour over the dough, "but he called me last minute. Seriously last minute, I was already at the bar, and he cancelled."

"What the hell?" Cassie interjected.

"I don't know. He fed me some line about how busy he was and how he can't mix business and pleasure." Rolling my eyes as I replayed his obviously nervous and rushed phone call in my mind. I'd been so confused that evening by how nervous and put off he sounded, almost as though he'd realized he'd made a huge mistake. "I mean the order and the event had already passed, so I don't know what his problem was." My focus returning to the elastic dough, filling it with more force than I originally had been or than I even intended. "But whatever. I found a nice gentleman to keep me company that evening."

"Sydney," David, ever the voice of reason chimed in, "you need to slow down with all these one nighters and find yourself someone to keep around. You'd be surprised how good things can be when you've got the right person."

"Nah," tossing a playful smile at him, "I just find them when I need them, get what I need and get out. Relationships are too much drama." Without letting my face fall I realized I've been using that line for so many years that I nearly believe it. Erin sucked her teeth at my answer.

"Girl, whoever messed with you really messed you up." A nonchalant shrug my only response before the conversation quickly changed back to work. To say the day was busy would be an understatement, but as the last half hour of the day approached it had slowed down to a small trickle of people coming through the door and the phone hadn't rang in what felt like ages.

"Alright guys, pack it in the for the evening. I'll handle the last half hour in the shop and get things cleaned down." It wasn't much, but given the incredible number of orders were working on and the crazy hours lately I knew they all appreciated any extra time to themselves. The offer was also slightly selfish, I just wanted some peace and quiet, some time alone with my thoughts. Almost no one second guessed my offer. Erin, Cassie, and Tiffany were all out the door before I could change my mind. David on the other hand

"Hey Sydney," David came around into the store font looking sheepish, his dark eyes concerned, which I met with a confused smile.

"What's up?" As I quickly finished wiping down one of the bistro tables.

"I hope I didn't upset you earlier," his eyes were waiting for me to catch on, but I was at a loss and furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, "with what I said about finding someone." My mouth formed a silent oh as I finally remembered the conversation from earlier.

"Not at all David. I know you're just looking out for me." David and I had met a few years back and become very close friends. He's seen the random parade of men that have wandered through my life for a night or two only to be unceremoniously left behind.

"Syd, what did happen that completely put you off relationships?" I'd never told him about what had happened in college. Hell, I'd never told anyone. I never spoke to anyone about it other than Alley. That year was like a weird dream that I can't be sure even happened, except it did. Looking in David's eyes I saw the the concern he had for me and I knew he just wanted me to find happiness. Once he'd found that connection with his wife that was all he could talk about. How you'd never really know happiness until you found that person, that one person.  Breaking eye contact, I walked nonchalantly behind the pastry case and started wiping down the counter.

"I was in love once." The store was eerily quiet as I stayed focused on my task at hand. "Things got messy for a number of reasons and it ended." Looking up I found a look of shock I'd not anticipated on David's rough features. Just as it appeared he was about to say something the little brass bell over the door rung. I watched the familiar dark suit and chocolate eyes walk through my door and couldn't help a little laugh escape. "Hey Tony! Didn't think I'd ever see you again after that phone call." He grinned at me, slightly amused, but there was something else in his look that I couldn't quite pinpoint.

"I'm really sorry about that, but," he nervously rubbed at the back of his neck, "something came up."

"Uh hu, well what can I do for you today?" Leaning against these pastry case, brushing at the front of my white apron that had clearly been through a day of baking. Tony glances at David.

"My boss wants to come in and thank you for the outstanding job you did, but I doesn't want to be a bother if you have other customers" that's when I took note of the black Escalade parked right in front of my door.

"Oh David is one of the bakers here." David stepped forward to shake Tony's hand as they both exchanged pleasantries.

"Ok, I'll go let him know." Tony turned and walked out the building as David came over behind the pastry case toward me.

"Who the hell is his boss?" David whispered curiously.

"Not a clue." I tried to see clearly out the front window to the black vehicle. The rear passenger door finally opened and out stepped a petite figure in all black. A moment later the door to the shop opened again and the sound of a heeled shoe rang in my ears, making my stomach drop, my heart race, and my mind scramble for what to do. Black heels, black trousers, a long black coat that looked to have ties on the sleeves, a black turtle neck, and a black cane to match. As he approached the counter my eyes finally got lost in his multifaceted hazel gaze. I felt David nudge my side, trying to get me to say something, but I couldn't. What was I supposed to say? There were too many questions, to many things I wanted to say that I couldn't.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." I heard David greet him professionally. "I'm David one of the bakers here."

"The pleasure is all mine David." His voice was still the same. The same as it had been the first time we'd met in Minneapolis, the same as it had been when we whispered to each other in bed, and the same it had been when he'd told me he couldn't believe I'd stoop that low. His voice was smooth as honey, but I knew just how sharp it could be. As he and David spoke I took in the tiniest changes I could see on his face. Small worry lines that hadn't been there last time I'd seen him. He had barely aged a day. After what seemed like a lifetime those eyes turned back to me. I could feel everyone's eyes on me, Tony and David silently asking why I'd suddenly gone mute.

"Sydney," my name rolling off his tongue sending a familiar and confusing sensation through my body, "I've missed you."