Why did you lie???

Changes

Trigger warning ⚠️.  If you are sensitive to like self hate and like actions based around that, then i would advice you to skip this chapter as i don't want to trigger anyone.

Nicki
Bey's house
8am

I woke up feeling so stress free, I woke up feeling good as fuck. I looked beside me and saw bey wasn't there, I heard the shower turn on and the door lock.

I took that as bey wanting to be alone for now. I respected that and laid back scrolling on my phone when I could feel something hard under my head. I moved my pillow and found a small open book which looked like lyrics where written on the paper.

I closed it and put it back in it's place, it's obviously bey's and I don't wanna invade her privacy. She shows me her songs when she feels comfortable enough and I can respect that.

I was willing to be patient and not rush her into anything. I wanted to be the best girlfriend ever. She always calls me her wife but I really wanna be her wife one day and the only way that would happen is if I don't go back to my old ways.

Bey had stepped out the bathroom in joggers and a hoodie, her eyes where red like she had been crying.

"Are you okay Baby?" I asked.

She looked up and said "yes, baby I'm fine" with a fake smile.

Overtime I learned how to tell when smiles don't match eyes because I had to fake mine for the media.

There was something hurting her and she didn't wanna talk about. I got up and embraced her in one of those hugs that you never want to stop.

"I'm here for you baby, always and forever" I whispered in her ear before kissing her cheek and going into the bathroom to shower.

I took a quick shower and threw on a t-shirt and some shorts before going back in bey's room. She wasn't in here anymore but I knew she was probably getting breakfast ready for the kids so I decided to go to the kitchen.

They where all in there having breakfast but bey wasn't there.

"Hey, where's bey?"

"Roof" they all said at the same time.

I nodded my head and went up there, I saw bey sitting with her knees tucked under her chin.

"Hey baby, what's wrong" I said pulling her into a hug, she flinched at first then relaxed in my arms.

"I don't know, I just feel so down to the point where I can't even fake a smile that looks real enough." I knew where her head was at the moment and I had to do something to get her mind out of that gutter.

Bey has her good days and her bad days. She has days where she's happy and can talk for hours about anything and everything then she'd have days where she's really depressed and doesn't like being around anyone. Her antidepressants clearly don't work but she still takes them.

From past experiences I learned that music was something that really affected bey so if you wanted to get a message across to her you'd have to figure out how to put in music form.

"Is there something specific on your mind that's making you feel this way?"

"I'm scared Nic, I'm scared I'm not good enough for you. What if you leave me because I'm not what you want?"

"That would never happen baby. There's no other person in this world that I love more than you. There's no other woman more beautiful than you in this world. You are way more than enough, I don't deserve you at all. You could have picked any other human on this earth to be with and they would've said yes in a heartbeat because of how beautiful you are and how amazing your personality is. People would only wanna be with me because I'm famous"