Sprousehart Oneshots

Moody

It had been a long week. A VERY long week. Cole took a drag of his cigarette, looked down at it and realized that it was the third one this hour. Fuck. He threw it to the ground and stepped on it. Not that it mattered, but three cigarettes an hour was touching a level of unhealthy he really didn't want to slump down. With a sigh he entered the apartment again, slopping down on the couch, face first into the pillow.

During the week it had been increasingly difficult for him to remain calm and not just snap at everyone that crossed his path. He'd spent his days repeating the phrase: "Calm down Cole, you're overreacting." in his mind. And he was. But he couldn't help it. Even the smallest things pissed him off to an unreasonable extent. KJ chewing to loud. Charles not covering his mouth when yawing. Mads and Cami giggling. It all combined was a kind of sensory overload that made him want to bang his head against a wall. And the worst off all: He didn't really know where it came from. In unnerved him not to be able to track down the root of it all, to finally deal with it and move on.

And it was not like he hadn't tried. During his free day he'd grabbed his camera and driven out of Vancouver, deep into the woods, away from everything. While he'd been there, he'd been able to relax a little, calm down the thoughts that were spinning in his head. But as soon as he had to enter Vancouver traffic again, all progress he had made that day flew out the window, when he found himself trying not to scream at the jackass that had skipped a red light and nearly crashed into his Jeep.

And on top of all was the scene they'd filmed yesterday. That fucking scene. He remembered vividly when he'd first read it. Lili was sitting next to him in her trailer and her head snapped up from her own script when he exclaimed:

"What the actual fuck?"

"What's wrong?"

"They'll make him cut her tattoo off."

"Who?"

"Jughead! They'll make him cut Penny's tattoo"

"What?"

He knew it was senseless trying to talk the writers out of it. The plot required that Jughead did something about Penny. Anything. Cole just wished it didn't include mutilation. It was for the drama's sake of course, but damn, his character had just been one of the two main figures in solving a murder, one would think he could come up with a better solution than "cutting a bitch".

So, as he was standing there, Vancouver's sky behind him darkening, he found the color of the sky matched his mood (he'd later realize that it had helped with getting badass!Jughead over).

He took a deep breath and switched into professional mode, a skill he'd perfectionated after years and years of working. Also, one he acquired way to early in his life. After finishing he left set with only one thought in his mind: to crawl into his bed and see or hear nothing and nobody.

Why did this affect him so much? This was a fucking fictional character and after all he'd always known how to separate himself from his characters, no matter if their names we're Julian, Ben or Cody. Well, not so much from the latter as it been quiet a good representation of himself from time to time. But this scene just had him on the fence.

He turned around, sighed and starred at the ceiling.

"Okay Cole. Relax. We've been through this. You know what this is. Don't let it hunt you down again."

But he couldn't help it. He felt the anxiety creep up in his gut and the irrational thoughts started spiraling in his head. The more he tried to push them away, the louder they came back. It made him want to scream and fucking cry at the same time and the fact that after all the effort to escape it, to wear it down he still couldn't control situations like this made him angry. Irrationally angry.

So, when his phone buzzed on the coffee table, he first chose to ignore it. Then the buzzing became increasingly annoying and he just wanted it to fucking stop.

He grabbed for the phone without looking at who was calling.

"What?" It came out even more rude than he'd intended.

"Woo... someone's in a bad mood." On any other given day her voice would have made him smile. Not today though.

Instead the grumbled something inaudible.

"You okay?" Lili asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." for someone who had been acting all his life, he was a pretty horrible liar.

"You sure about that?"

"Pretty much"

"I'm not too convinced if I'm honest"

"For fuck's sake Lili, if I say I'm fine, I'm fine" the harshness in his voice made him flinch.

For a moment there was just silence on the other end, then she mumbled something along lines. "The fuck? If you can't talk like a normal person then we'll better not talk" and hung up.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

She didn't have any fault. He knew that. He fucking knew that.

And nonetheless he'd snapped at her. At Lili. Of all people.

For a while he sat there, wanting to kick himself, but then he realized there was only one way to fix this.

He grabbed his keys and drove over to her apartment. When he reached her door, he didn't feel angry anymore, it felt like all of it had evaporated the moment she had hung up on him. The only thing he felt now was regret. He shouldn't have let it out on her, she was the last person on this planet who deserved this. She was the one that always put up with his bullshit and had accepted him, with all his flaws. And there where a lot of them. He should be thanking her on his knees, not snapping at her like this.

Nervously he rang. When she opened the door, the look on her face spoke volumes. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked at him reproachfully.

"Here to yell at me some more for absolutley no reason?" she asked.

"I... no. I'm sorry Lils." he said, his voice barley audiable. "Can I come in and explain myself?"

He saw her considering it for a minute, then she huffed a breath and gestured for him to come in.
He followed her to the living room, where she turned around, hands on her hips, obviously trying to stare him into the ground.

"I'm waiting" she said.

"Okay um... Fuck. I don't even know how to explain this. It's just... this week. That fucking scene yesterday. It was all a lot and I've been feeling anxious and annoyed all week and I don't even know why. Even the smallest things make me want to freak out. When you called, I... I just snapped. It was stupid, and you have every right to be mad, because I'm a fucking idiot."

He looked over at her. She had her arms crossed over her chest again, looking at him, still seeming somewhat annoyed. For a while she said nothing, just kept looking at him with her stern gaze.

"I guess... I guess, I'll go home then." he mumbled and turned around.

He took a step towards the door, but then suddenly felt her hand on his shoulder.

"Cole, wait." her voice was softer now and when he turned around he saw that her expressions where too.

"You're right." she said. "You're a fucking idiot. But you're my idiot. Just remember, if you ever talk to me like that again without a reason, I'm not going to let you off the hook that easily."

With that, she kissed him and made all the frustration melt away within a second. He wrapped his arm around her waist, happy to finally find something to hold on to after a week of just floating in sea of misery.

For a brief second, a piece of advice someone had given him years ago crossed his mind: "When you find yourself in the middle of a storm, don't ignore it. Laugh at it. And after, treasure those who suffered through with you."