Braided

Sixtenth day of Highschool

Today in Christian club we talked about loving one another. For the first time in a while, I felt at ease at school.
It's like I could feel the love radiation from the room. It was like the world outside of that classroom was cold and inside was the only warm place on earth. We each had to take a sheet of paper and write our names on it.
Then it was passed around and everyone was supposed to write one reason why they loved the person whose name was on the paper. To be honest I had no clue what they would write. I mean how can they love me? I don't even talk. As we were doing it Jimmy was staring at me. He comes every once in a while and maybe he has been staring at me every day but I haven't really noticed too much. When my paper came back my heart raced before I looked at it. There were nice comments.

I will list my favorite ones here:

You are beautiful

I love the way you look and listen to everyone who speaks it shows you care

Your lipstick bring out of your eyes

You show up every day and listen

I bet the one about how beautiful came from Jimmy. Maybe if I start to talk again I will say hi.
I really felt like God was in the room with me.
I haven't felt that in a long time.
The rest of the day I felt like I was floating and walked with a little more confidence. Even my dance teacher noticed a difference and complimented me in that thick Russian accent of hers.
Even the gross school chicken patties tasted gross and this time I actually sat in the cafeteria rather than outside.
I sat with Shawna and her friends. I recognized Sydney from the Christian club. She looked like one of those models on the covers of magazines. Blonde wavy hair and bright wavy hair. She was a junior like Shawna and was wearing a varsity cheerleaders outfit and a cross necklace. The other girl I have never seen before her name was Alice. She had the same slim figure and uniform as Sydney. She had very pale skin compared to Sydney though and lots of freckles. She had long vibrant red hair that if she didn't wear up in a high pony would curl all the way to her back. Shawna was wearing a uniform too. I didn't know she cheered. I feel like an awful friend.
The other 2 people at the table were football players. The first guy's name was Sean looked exactly like Shawna with dark skin and dark hair that was put into dreads. I thought it was a cool look. As we were talking I found out he was Shawna's older brother. Sean and Shawna what a pair of names. I found out as they were talking that he was ranked number one running back in the province and was committing to a full ride to Georgia Tech in the United States. I felt like I was sitting with our school's very own celebrity. I didn't catch the other guy's name but he didn't talk much. I kinda liked him. He reminded me of me just hopelessly silent.
I looked behind me and saw the other group of football players and cheerleaders. I wondered why they weren't over there with them and it is like I thought out loud. Sean told me about how he stood up for some of the juniors when they were being hazed at a party and was outcast. I thought that was really cool. I obviously couldn't say it but I smiled and nodded. He seemed to get the point.
I wrote in my therapist's session that I made friends which she was ecstatic about and made her grin even wider. I got a vanilla cone for it and this time with sprinkles.