She Has His Heart (US#4)

||4.||

•||Ch4: Tiredness with disappointment||•

||Mehrun's POV||

I looked at the picture hanging in my room and felt lost. It was a group picture of my friends or used to be friends during my school days.

Sometimes when I looked at this picture, I asked myself. Why? Why did I do this? Why did I push everyone away from myself to the point where I couldn't get them back? Why?

There was a knock on the door which pulled me back from my lost world.

The door opened after I gave permission and adjusted my mood, and mom entered the room. She came towards and sat beside me with a smile but I knew this smile didn't reach her eyes.

I knew I was hurting everyone by pushing them away from me just because of my self-will but I couldn't help myself from doing this.

"We just came back from your phupho's place. She said she will come soon to meet you because she has ordered some cosmetics and things from London and wanted to share with you," Mom told me, pushing my hair behind my shoulder.

I smiled at her and didn't let her see how I was suffering from inside. I put my arms around her and my head on her shoulder.

"I want to go with you but I already had made a plan so... But I promise I'll meet her soon because I miss her too," I lied to her with a smile but inside I was feeling hurt.

By now I didn't know how many times I lied to everyone and also to myself.

These beautiful lies which made others happy for a short time but hurt me for a long time for lying to them.

I wished they would accept me as I was now but no one liked me like this new side of me. Even my own parents wanted the previous me who used to be a lot lively, talk endless nonsense and was a lot cheerful.

I couldn't bring back that self even if I tried because I didn't know when I lost that self...

Maybe during college life or maybe after college life. Or maybe when I was pulled into a new group which was a lot wild. Or maybe...

"Oh! I forgot to inform you of some interesting news. Your cousin Saim came back from London and surprised everyone today," Mom informed me, caressing my arm that was wrapped around her.

"Really? It's been ages since I have last seen him or his picture. Now I can't remember him," I told her, thinking of the little 5 year old Saim whose image was hazy now and trying to remember how he looked now from the picture that Mirha phupho once showed me.

"You'll know how he looks now once you meet him," Mom replied to me then added with a chuckle, "I hope now you both don't fight now when you meet like you guys used to."

I smiled thinking of those blurry bits of memories. Well it used to be fun and also irritating to fight with him.

• • •

I was styling my hair when I received a message from Shaizum.

Shaizum: Plan canceled. I am going out of the city. Next time I will take you out.