Three Paged

is he dead?

Inspired by the thought of "how would the internet respond to Dorian Gray's death."  As with Player Piano, I have not read this in a hot minute so, lots of details may be off.

Nicholas hastily clicked 'I am not a robot.'Now he just had to sit back, relax, and refresh every five-minutes (just to be sure.)This question on AskGeddit was sure to get him lots of up-points."Dorian Gray was found ded this morning. Dude looked yong to me idk. What do you think happen." Nicholas smirked. Oh! the up-points would be rolling in any second now.Most news outlets ruled the death off as a suicide, but Geddit totally knew better than those old loons. Obviously, there was something more going on, they were just too scared to look for the truth. Looking at the small clock in the bottom of the screen, Nicholas realized how tired he really was. His eyes were a bit bleary and his body was heavy. Nevertheless, he kept refreshing.10:15, 10:38, 11;02, 11:34, 12:00, 1:09, 1:55, 2...Sybil was scrolling and yawning. It was late, but she felt the urge to not go to bed. Like some act of childhood defiance, it was 'cooler for some reason' if she stayed awake and bored through the early hours. It was something for her or was it.The definition of self-care for Sybil was a little hazy at the moment.Geddit was a good enough time-waster, she could Browse without thinking.AskGeddit was fun because it was dumb. It was so dumb, and of course, she would never be like those...Gedditors. She wouldn't grow up to live with her parents and be lazy and do nothing bu-"Dorian Gray died. But why? Why would he do that?"Write Comment."I really don't understand what the question here is supposed to be? His life was awful, and I think he had some unaddressed mental issues."Apathetically, Sybil continued."He committed suicide. End of story.That picture they found next to his body was probably like his own sort of black painting. When Goya was going insane, he started painting really dark and disturbing imagery all around his house. When he died, people found it. It's like that. Dorian was a tortured soul, probably clinically depressed or something else going on, no one really cared about him, and his career was far past its prime. He probably went insane, if the authorities look they'll probably find more paintings just like that one. It doesn't matter if he looked young, people commit suicide no matter how pretty they look.TL;DR He just committed suicide, is it that hard to believe? People commit suicide all of the time."And Sybil was thinking, exactly what she was trying to avoid, and traveling down a dark and damp and dreary and-"Ok I'll probably get down-points, but-"Dolf stuck his handbag into the bag of crispy potato chips, licking the salt off his finger as they returned. He wasn't a slob as much as he just really liked chips."No way Gray committed suicide. You guys, he didn't paint that. Like when did Gray ever paint in his life? He was so desperate for fame, he would have grabbed on to that."Another dive into the chip bag."I looked at the painting and it's like really close to some of his earlier modeling stuff, I mean like there was a Kalvin Clein ad series where all of the models had their portrait taken. It looks a whole lot like the painting. I did some digging, the painter is the same age as Gray, and Gray seemed kind of... Well, he was very flamboyant. My guess is that they were gay lovers! The painter offed him so he wouldn't spill."Almost satisfied, Dolf quickly added "Sorry for any of mistakes, the English is not first language!" As a bumper for any criticism.His chip bag  is empty. Shoot. Do we have any more chips? I could have sworn we had more. I went to the store yest-Tap, tap, tap, tap.Thumbs and fingers flew across Henry's keyboard.It was all so so so obvious. If you just do a little research, it's so obvious.Every celebrity has a scandal, but a lot of it goes deeper than anyone realizes."Remember that really shady theatre he used to go to for his girlfriend or something? I remember one-time people thought he might have gotten in a bar fight near it. I don't think that's Dorian. Think about it, have we ever actually looked up his birth records? We don't really know where he came from, he could be a set of twins, or he could be easily replaced. Dorian died a long time ago in that fight, that when he was still pretty popular, though. So his agency replaced him with a double. Look at his right nipple before 2008, and after. The after is substantially pinker and there's a light scar. If you zoom in on his eyes, you can even see that they're different colors. This sounds dumb, but I did some more digging. One of the drinks at the bar was called 'The Re-birth.' REBIRTH! "He couldn't stop typing, the truth was pouring out of his body, he couldn't contain it anymore."But that isn't where it ends. Oh, I wish that was where it ended because it isn't! I think that Dorian was involved in some shady stuff, I think he was selling drugs, but he was too lazy about it. All of underground Hollywood is peddling drugs, I'll link another explanation why later. But I have proof. In an interview in 2005 with TMZ, he said that "Buy Levis," which when reversed sounds like "Sally ran." According to UrbanDictionary, Sally can mean Cocaine, Heroin, or LSD (all illegal drugs) and Ran means 'Sells' or 'Sold for.' HE WAS CONDUCTING A SECRET DRUG TRADE-OFF ON CAMERA!"Henry was sweating as he pushed on, this was his greatest creation."So his agency wasn't cool with how lax he was being with all of this so they SHOT HIM!!! Also, SALLY CAN BE A CODE WORD FOR A HITMAN!!!!HE PREDICTED HIS OWN DEATH IN 2005!!!!. Guys, please give up-points so that-"In all the excitement, Henry passed out.