Hannah and John Designated surviour

Chapter 2

Hannah has got her cookie dough icecream and John as gone for a shower. She's nervous, she doesn't know why. She's never had a panic attack before but now she's alone she's definitely having one. She places the icecream down on the coffee table. She doesn't want to turn the tv on because she knows that their will be something to do with what happened that night on. She looks around and notices the CD player sat on a small table. She switches it on and presses play on the CD right now as long as it wasn't heavy metal she didn't care. Soft piano music began to play and she sat back down on the sofa and grabs the half eaten pot of icecream and tries to relax. Its not working. "FUCK" she whispers. She has the feeling of wanting to throw something across the room but she doesn't want to do it in John's house as that isn't fair to him. She's shaking she just tries to focus on her breathing and the music. She wouldn't ever admit this to anyone but right now she feels vulnerable. The tough as nails and  hardworking woman she is has become a scared child in moments and she hates it. It feels like John has been away for hours. He had been really good tonight she started to think about the office and how he held her and kept her safe and now he's gone. She remembers how his embrace comforted her and made her forget the things that had happened hours before. She wouldn't admit this to anyone but she missed him. She missed his arms. Moments later she heard footsteps. She gets up off the sofa and turns to see him walking through the doorway.
"Hi." She says looking at him. His in checked pyjama pants and a towel around his shoulders. He doesn't have a top on? She tries desperately not to have that picture imprinted on her brain.
"Hannah are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Hannah." He warned taking a step towards her. "Talk to me Hannah. Also why the music?"

She sits down on the sofa and he sits next to her. As he looks at her she starts to go pale. He quickly gets up and goes to the small table over near the entrance to the kitchen he comes back with a few plastic bags. He moves her hair out of her face as she grabs the bag quickly to vomit. He holds her back and rubs her back.

Within 10 minutes and two plastic bags, she had finally stopped vomiting. He takes the bags and puts them in the trash can. He comes bag with a glass of water and some mints. "Want to talk?" He said coming back to the room.

"Can you just hold me?" She said after having some of the mints.

"What?" John said and Hannah could see the shock on his face.

"Can you just hold me? Let's I don't know lay on the sofa or something. I just want to be in your arms John."

"Okay. This isn't like you Hannah."

She sits up and looks at him. He knows he's triggered something in her. "Oh I'm sorry John. It's not everyday my best friend gets killed. Do you really want to know my reason for you holding me John? Because you make me feel safe. Being in your arms helps me forget the fucking pain I've been through John. Before I threw up you asked me if I was okay. No John I'm not okay. I haven't had a panic attack since I was 16 and I had to do a speech infront of my class who bullied me. I was eating my icecream on your sofa and I was shaking I didn't notice before. Then it felt like I was suffocating. It's the reason why I put your music on because I hate the silence John it reminded me of everything that happened. So yeah i feel like I'm 16 again and everything is going wrong in my life. I had nobody to turn to in that place. At least I have you John. To be honest I don't want anyone else."
She spoke the last part with tears in her eyes.
John relaxed himself on the sofa. He placed a pillow next to him. He sat forward briefly and tugged the blanket on the back of the sofa.

"I never objected Hannah. Of course I'll hold you." He said and as she rested her head against him he pulls the blanket over them.
"John?"
"Yeah."
"Why don't you have a shirt on?" She said running her fingers over his chest and down to his stomach and back up again.
"I wanted to make sure you were okay. Didn't think you'd appreciate me walking in here fully naked.Do you want me to go get one?"
"No John you better not go anywhere."
"Why? Like what you see."
"Not tonight John. Just hold me."
He chuckles softly at her words.
"Okay. Hey Hannah."
"Yeah."
"I wouldn't mind it if you do you know."
"Shut up John."