The Force is With Her

07 · goodbyes and uncertainties

(vera)

Anakin had a council meeting today, and I was left to train on my own for the morning. From my peripheral vision, I could see  Cassie and Master Mioko in the corner, and seeing them together made me feel jealous, which wasn't a good feeling at all. I was still a little upset with Master Anakin, and even though I kissed Evander (which barely counts, because he kissed me, not the other way around. Evander really is a senator's kid, always twisting words to get his way), I still had enough respect for the Jedi code that I told him to leave me alone. Well, despite the whole Cassie thing but whatever. Anakin just straight up married and knocked up Senator Amidala. And he was mad about me kissing some stupid boy who I hadn't seen in almost two years? The unfairness was making me so mad and I vowed that night I was sneaking out to see Padmé about it. It was the only way to get answers. Another surge of anger hit me, and in my mind I plastered Anakin's face on the practice dummy.

"Stupid...Skywalker!" I yelled slicing the head clean off the practice dummy. Oops.

"That's a little violent of you," said a voice from behind me. 

Well speak of the darth, there's Stupid Skywalker himself.

"Says you. I heard you say you were going to "chop that bastard senator's dick off and feed it to a tauntaun while he was forced to watch" in your sleep last night," I responded, the sass evident in my voice.

Anakin grew red and stifled a grimace, before sobering up.

"Obi-Wan's leaving for Utapau. Do you wanna come with me to say goodbye?"

"I thought you were supposed to?"

"Well, apparently the Council thinks otherwise."

It was hard to ignore the glaring bitterness in his words. I noticed dark bags under his eyes and I realized just how much the stress was killing him. I begun to worry, what is happening to him?

"Yeah, sure," I said, attaching my now deactivated lightsaber to my belt.

Master Obi-Wan waiting at a ship hangar and I smiled at him, waving. I didn't want to get in the way of their goodbye, so I gave him a hug for good luck and said my goodbyes.

"May the force be with you," I said.

"Goodbye, Vera. Seems like only yesterday you snuck aboard my ship to Kamino."

"I have responsibilities now, I can't sneak aboard this one. As much as I want to hack up that clanker Grievous."

Obi-Wan laughed and I gave him another quick hug, stepping off to the side to allow Anakin and Obi-Wan to say their goodbyes. I was really worried about him, and for Obi-Wan. What would happen if Obi-Wan didn't come back? That would kill Anakin. I could sense Padmé's pregnancy was troubling him too. And that along with the Council? I would talk to Padmé about that too. In my nervousness, I chewed on on of my two braids, an old habit I had whenever I felt something was off. Something was going to happen, and I wasn't sure I liked it.

(anakin)

Vera left and I turned to my old master, my friend, my brother. I felt overcome with an overwhelming sense of guilt.

"Master, I've disappointed you," I said, "I haven't been very appreciative of your training. I've been arrogant, and I apologize. I've just been so frustrated with the Council."

Obi-Wan looked me in my eyes, and smiled, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"You are strong and wise, Anakin, and I am very proud of you. I have trained you since you were a small boy, I have taught you everything I know, and you have become a far greater Jedi than I could ever hope to be. And you have taught Vera well." Obi-Wan smiled, before continuing, "but be patient, Anakin. It will not be long before the Council makes you a Jedi master."

We grinned at each other, before Obi-Wan set off to his ship.

"Obi-Wan," I called after him. He turned around and I continued, "may the force be with you."

"Goodbye old friend, may the force be with you."

Obi-Wan entered his ship and I met Vera in the spot where she was leaning against a column. She was chewing on the end of one of her braids, her brows furrowed like she was deep in thought.

"Oh, hi Master," she said looking up and smiling.

"You looked lost in thought. Something troubling you?"

"Just stress. War and now having to keep your secret. It's just...a lot."

"I feel you, stress is my main feeling these days."

"I can tell."

Vera looked down at her boots and sighed a little.

"Master...I'm really worried about you....and as much as it pains me to say it...I sometimes feel...I don't know...scared of you," she said, her voice shaking with each word.

She knows. She can sense all the darkness and pain and anger and hurt...my own padawan is afraid of me.

"I-I can sense something about Padmé's pregnancy is troubling you, too," Vera continued, "I don't have a clue what it is, but I can tell.

I took a shaky deep breath.

"I've been having dreams about her...dying in childbirth," I said, small and quiet.

Vera widened her eyes and covered her mouth.

"Anakin.." she whispered, placing her hands on my forearms. "I'm so sorry."

"I won't lose her. I can't lose her."

"You won't. Sometimes bad dreams really are just bad dreams. We can't obsess over it. That's how we lose ourselves."

"When did you get so wise?"

"After my encounter with the Chancellor, bad dreams of him would haunt me, and they got so bad that I almost went insane, but Master Yoda helped me out."

Vera smiled and linked arms with mine.

"See, silly, this is why we talk to people about our problems."

"Vera, how would you like to come and visit Padmé with me tonight?"

"I'd like that very much."